Page 42 of The Cost of Love

We are getting to the sit-down part of the event, which means we have some time to spare before we bring the amuse-bouche to the tables. Enough time that I have to actually consider her argument.

“Also, he is fucking gorgeous. I would date an ugly dude in that tax bracket, and you are avoiding Prince Charming.”

A fitting comparison, I try to erase the image of him in a suit.

“You know what it’s leading to? Me liking him. I think I already do.” I bite my bottom lip and rub the indent between my eyebrows.

“Who wouldn’t like a hot CEO with a desire to make them orgasm? Try stating something less obvious.”

I throw my head back and laugh. “I mean, I like him for him, outside of all of that.”

The sweet artist, who has a love of food, and a soft spot for family. A man patient, considerate and non-judgmental. I like what I know, in spite of me fighting to know nothing.

“Which is a problem, by the way,” I say, while watching some of the other waitstaff go out for a smoke break.

Jessie pulls me behind them, wanting the fresh air. Even though it’s September, it’s muggy enough that we’ll sweat out there. Still, I follow.

“So fuck him and be done with it,” she says, while leaning against the alley wall.

“It’s not supposed to be a one-time thing. Plus, after experiencing this type of fun, I don’t know if I can let it go so soon.”

“Then stop complaining.” She rolls her eyes and pushes me. I push her back and cross my arms.

“Yeah, you’re right. I’ll just enjoy it until it’s over, but I’m texting him to know the next time I see him, it better involve his dick.”

This gets a chuckle from a couple of the guys near us, causing me to blush.

“Hell yeah. That’s what you came for. But still, enjoy the other perks of having him in your life. You might decide it’s worth it.”

I probably would have already decided that if I weren’t running on fumes from the last month and a half of balancing him, work, and the kids. I can take only so many more nights of little sleep and hangovers. Plus, as the days tick past and my search for a flat proves fruitless, more and more panic claws at my throat at the idea of us being homeless.

This is why I didn’t want to date him in the first place. I have too much stuff going on to add anything else. Yet, I make time for him.

“No matter what happens, I’m glad I did it,” I say, fanning some of the smoke out of my face.

“Good! Now tell him to set me up with one of his friends.”

I promise to do just that as Elise pops her head out to tell us it’s time to serve. In between each course, Jessie catches me up on her latest pursuit. Rooting for her to find the financial stability and love that she seeks makes me reconsider Alex.

As much as I should call it off, I don’t know if I can deny myself this type of joy. For now, I’m not going to.

Chapter 17

Alex

The city lights flash in the car as I drive towards East London. Chanice insisted she meet me outside, only adding to the wonder of what she is hiding in her apartment. Maybe she is embarrassed and doesn’t want me to see the size of her place. Maybe she is concerned that I will judge her. I don’t know how to put those thoughts at ease, so I leave the subject unbothered for now. After all, as far as she is concerned, it’s better to keep a distance when it comes to me. Every time I see her, I watch as she fights to remember that.

After opening up to her on my terrace about my grandfather, there was visible regret in her eyes when she had to leave. I wish she had been able to show me more of her.

I’ve told her about my passion, and now I have shown her a big part of my heart. Tonight, I give her my body. Hopefully, in the end, it will all be enough to make her want to stay.

The driver, Leo, stops outside her door, and I see that she is standing under the streetlight. She has a bag with her and a smile on her face. I get out to grab it from her hands and let her slide in.

“I’m so excited,” she says, settling against the seat. That feeling of anticipation buzzes in the air all around her.

“Did you want to eat first?” I slide my arm behind her shoulders and pull her in to my side.

“Why are you always trying to feed me?”