Page 70 of The Cost of Love

“You did nothing wrong. I think you are incredibly clever and beautiful.”

She smiles her first full smile of the evening.

“But we aren’t well matched.”

“I don’t agree.”

Unable to decide if it’s rude to do this here or not, I try to take a step back. Her arms snake around my neck, pulling my head towards her instead. As I open my mouth to speak, she presses her lips against mine. The loud crash that sounds out just as we kiss makes me feel like the world is in agreement about how much of a catastrophe this is. When I pull back, I realize that it’s much worse than I thought.

Chanice is squatting while trying to pick up scallops. I step towards her, and as if sensing my presence, she looks up. Eyes widening, she quickly abandons her efforts and runs back through some doors. I follow, passing by each person’s confused stare, my hand actively wiping at my mouth.

I don’t know if I think that can erase what just happened, but it makes me feel like I am doing something as I burst into the kitchen. Everyone stops what they are doing and looks at me. I can hear them telling me where the bathrooms are, but I am not really listening. I see Chanice’s retreating form as she goes through yet another door.

I pick up my speed after her and reach her in the hallway.

“Wait, it’s not what you think.”

“I need to clean that up,” she says over her shoulder, while walking farther away from me.

“Please, can we just talk?” I grab her arm, stopping her in place.

She finally turns to look at me. I don’t know what I was expecting to see, but her cold resignation feels worse than her rage would.

“No.”

“Please, I don’t want you to think—”

She puts up a hand, cutting me off. “I don’t get to think anything when it comes to you. That is not what we are doing.”

Gutted, I stumble back. “What are we doing then? What have these last few months been if not more than just fucking?” I know I have no right to feel wronged when she is just stating the truth.

No matter how I have treated her before tonight, she never promised me anything. I used that as an excuse to justify seeing Elizabeth, and this is my consequence.

“If we were doing anything but being casual, you wouldn’t be kissing someone else.” There is still a lack of emotion in her voice, like she is rebuilding that wall between us.

I spent months taking it down brick by brick just to glimpse the things inside her. She is showing me now that I am no longer entitled to that version of her.

“Chanice?”

“It’s fine. This is what I wanted. You didn’t do anything wrong. Now go back to your date because I have to clean that up.” She crosses her arms and looks at me dead on, waiting for me to walk away. Expecting me to give up.

“I did do something wrong, because that’s not what I want. I want you, all of you, everything that comes along with you. I have been trying to show you that since Day One, and I don’t want you to think that kiss makes any of that untrue.” I unravel her hold, forcing her hands into mine. “You’re right, technically I didn’t owe you anything, but we are so past technicalities. I don’t care if you give me the title. I am yours, and I don’t want to be with anyone else.”

She lowers her eyes and pulls her hands back from my grip. She is too strong to show me, but I can see I have hurt her by the way her shoulders curve.

“This is too complicated. The lines are too blurred.” She shakes her head, her curly bun unraveling a little.

“What does that mean?”

“Chanice?”

We both turn to see who called her name. A woman with her hands on her hips is standing there, giving us both a stern look.

“Sorry, Elise, I’m coming.” Chanice pushes past me, not looking back.

I stand just watching where she was, even as I hear the door close behind them.

When I come back in the ballroom, I can’t find Elizabeth or Chanice. I am at a loss of what to do when I feel someone pulling me towards the door. Carter has a tight hold on my arm, his eyes focused on our path.