Page 90 of The Cost of Love

Watching her walk out, I can’t help but feel like it’s me she’s leaving, and I can’t blame her. I placed the load of my world on her shoulders and expected her to know how to handle it. I’ve had my whole life to learn how to bear the weight of these people’s judgments, and even now I feel it crushing me. I just hope as she lets it go, that it doesn’t fall between us.

I don’t look away from the door, like any minute she will walk back through it. I’m stuck in the in-between of our goodbye. Carter, walking in front of me, finally pushes me to the other side of that moment.

“What happened?” he asks.

Looking at me, he is able to piece together an idea of how I’m feeling. I wonder if he saw everything fall apart.

No, not fall. Torn down. Ruined by the woman determined to shape my life, even if it has to be done through destruction.

“My mother happened.”

He looks around the room, like it will further explain. I do the same, and when my eyes zone in on her, I move.

Stepping in front of the painting she is looking at, I yell, “What did you say to her?”

She doesn’t bother to meet my eyes. Her gaze looks past me like I’m not blocking the thing that interests her. I would think she didn’t hear me at all if it weren’t for her mouth squishing into a scowl. I go to repeat myself when she holds up a hand.

“Don’t make a scene,” she reprimands.

“Do you think I care about that right now?” I speak louder than I was before, giving her the exact reaction she was hoping to avoid.

“Just because you have given up on your reputation doesn’t mean I have given up on mine,” she whispers. “Give me a ride home and then we can talk.”

She turns and heads towards the exit, leaving me no options. Trailing behind her like the child she is trying to make me out to be, I know when we are alone, it won’t be me who is being lectured.

I call the car, and we stand in a stony silence while we wait. As soon as the door closes, locking us in, she beats me to yelling first.

“How dare you, Alexander! Our family barely survived the scandal of your sister, and now here you are dating this girl who is a server. What is wrong with you? When will you two learn that it all matters? Everything you do has significance.” She throws herself against the seat and presses her hand to her forehead, feigning duress.

I roll my eyes and lean in to close in some of the distance. “I don’t care about any of that. Tell me what you said to her.”

She scoffs and crosses her arms. I feel my heartbeat in my hands as they vibrate with my rage.

“What did you say?” Turning her face by her chin, I force her to look at me.

“I told her the truth,” she spits. “Men like you do not marry girls like her.” She rips free from my hold and points a finger at me. “Have all the dalliances you want, son, but you do not bring people like her to places where your associates might recognize her as the person who wipes down the tables.”

I clench my fingers, digging the nails into my palm. It’s the only thing keeping me from screaming thirty years’ worth of frustration at her. This is the last time I expect better of her. I didn’t think it was possible, but somehow, she has disappointed me again.

“I’m not doing this with you.” I knock on the window separating us from the driver. “Pull over,” I say.

“What are you doing?” she asks.

The car comes to a halt as we pull as close to the sidewalk as we can. Reaching over her, I open the door.

“Get out.”

“You can’t be serious?” She stares at me as if I will say it’s all a joke and bend to her will as I always have. This time, the only folding I plan on doing is to meet her at her level.

“For once in your life, I want you to listen to me when I speak, because I only plan on saying this once: The only reason I have you in my life is because Olivia asked me to. That ends today.”

She gasps and grabs at her chest. For the first time ever she seems to be at a loss for words. I don’t want to hear anything she has to say anyway.

“Get. Out.”

“Alexander, I’m your mother. You’re being ridiculous.” Her eyes water, and her lower lip wobbles. It does nothing to soften the steeliness of my heart. I’ve seen this performance enough times that I can sing along to the tune of her dramatics.

“All I want is what’s best for you,” she says.