Page 91 of The Cost of Love

“What is best for me is being outside of the world you so cherish. What is best for me is being with a woman I love with everything that I am. Not once in my entire life have you or your warped sense of importance been what’s best for me.” I fight the urge to push her out of the car and instead point my finger in the direction I would like her to go. If I’m being honest, I should be pointing at the floor to remind her where she vacations.

“You will not destroy this empire for a woman; this is not Troy,” she says with pure conviction.

“What about for myself?”

She chokes out a laugh and then screams, “You will not ruin this!”

“What will you do to stop me? You have no more bargaining chips. I don’t need your money, I’ve given up on your love, and the cost of earning your approval is not worth it. There is absolutely nothing you can do to make me do what you want anymore. So get out of my car, and get out of my life.”

She brings her face closer to mine and looks me right in my eyes. “Your grandfather is rolling over in his grave. You consider yourself to be a good man, yet you are dumping the woman who gave birth to you on a random street. Will you be able to sleep at night knowing this is how you treat someone who has sacrificed everything for you? My love may seem transactional, but believe me, you spoiled child, I have paid the higher price.”

Her words are like a punch to my throat. I lose all air. And with it goes my fight. She takes one look at me and closes the door. Directing the driver where to go, we fall into a silence.

Even when she gets out of the car, I still sit stunned by her final refrain. Every time I think I am free of her, she finds a way to dig her nails in deeper. My gut turns with the idea that I have somehow let down the only man I have ever looked up to. And my mind gets tangled in her twisted words. Despite the fact that she has never cared for my feelings, I wonder about hers and what it cost to be wanted by a man like my father. I wonder what she meant.

I may never know, and if I want to be rid of her for good, I have to come to terms with never finding out.

The most I can wait is forty-eight hours before I can no longer bear her ignoring me and show up at her door. I can’t let another second pass where this gap grows with her weighted thoughts. Chanice needs to know all of the ways in which I will never allow this to happen again.

My knock holds all my anxiety. It’s only slightly soothed by her opening the door and not immediately slamming it in my face. It all but disappears when she steps to the side, letting me come in. Once inside, she pulls me into her arms and rests her head on my chest. I let out the breath that has been trapped in my lungs since that night, and feel her let out her own as well.

“Where are the kids?” I ask, worried about the impression this conversation is going to make on them.

“The movies,” she says, letting me go. She makes her way to her couch and sinks into the comfy pillows.

It’s the type that is perfect for curling up as a family and watching TV. The type I never had growing up. I slide in next to her and pull her into my side, resting my chin on her head.

“Are you okay?” I ask, already knowing the answer.

“No,” she sighs out.

“I’m sorry.” I lean forward and kiss her head, trying to soothe some of those feelings. “I should’ve done more to make sure that never happened to you.”

“Alex, what do you think you could have done? There was no protecting me from eventually having to deal with your mum.”

She grabs my hand, but I can barely hold back as regret has my body freezing. Feeling me tense, she sits up and slides into my lap, forcing my face to look in her direction. She plants a gentle kiss on my lips.

“I didn’t want you to feel like you don’t belong,” I whisper against her mouth.

“I don’t.” She kisses me once more before pulling back.

“You belong wherever I am.”

“That’s not true,” she says, standing up.

Her retreating from me finally wakes my body up enough that I can move, too. I jump and grab her hand, bringing her close to me once again.

“Yes, it is.”

“No, it’s not. You just want it to be true.”

“Chanice—”

“When we met, you said I was the opposite of everything that you are. Do you really think someone like that fits in your world?” She swings her arms out, but her voice stays level. I still step back like she screamed the words, thrown off balance by their truth.

“I just wanted you to come and have a good time,” I say.

“Alex, you don’t even have a good time at those things.”