Page 32 of A Straight Line

Chapter 8

Where There’s a Drag Queen,

There’s a Way

“Russ?”

I was violently washing my hands in the kitchen sink, and Denny was nearby, picking at the caterer’s trays that were laid out on the kitchen island, spotted with leftover food, when the woman approached me. Denny had already given his hands a thorough wash at my suggestion before he picked through the food that was still laid out. Of course, getting sick from using his unwashed hands to eat was unlikely. We hadn’t done anything too disgusting, but in case other people happened to pick off the tray as well, it was respectful to wash his hands. Besides, good hygiene never killed anyone.

The fireworks display had gone on for several minutes, and all of the attendees—but especially my uncles—were touched by the extravagant show organized by Bang Bang. I was no expert, but I knew such a gift couldn’t have been inexpensive. Bang Bang’s financial situation wasn’t something I was privy to, but I wondered how many drag shows she had performed to pay for such a thing. Then again, knowing Bang Bang’s resourcefulness, she had probably gotten people in the community to chip in for the show. Or she had charmed somebody into doing it for free. It wasn’t totally outside the realm of possibilities knowing how charming and resourceful Bang Bang could be.

Where the fuck was she?

It was well after dark, more than four hours into the party, and there hadn’t been a single indication that Bang Bang was actually showing up in person to the party. Like everyone else, including my uncles, I was under the impression that Bang Bang was going to put on one of her infamous shows right there in the backyard. I’d assumed that the gazebo would be her stage. She’d done worse than perform surrounded by trays of food—though the caterer had already cleared those away and put them in the house. What was left, anyway. From what I remembered, Bang Bang had a way of commanding a stage, microphone or not, so she could have managed. All she had to do was show up.

In fact, I really, really needed Bang Bang to show up. Something told me that if I could see her, be in the presence of her effervescence—and bawdy dick jokes—my mood would actually improve. Even if it was only for the length of her show, I would love to forget my troubles and just laugh for a little while. Bang Bang had a way of bringing the sun out on the cloudiest of days. If ever there was going to be a sign that everything would be okay with my life, it would be Bang Bang putting on a special, intimate show just for my uncles’ retirement.

My mind flashed through all the memories I had as a child, an adolescent, a teenager, when I’d come to visit my uncles. We had always gone out of our way to catch at least one of Bang Bang’s shows while I was in town visiting. After the shows, Bang Bang always took time to see me, catch up on how I was doing, and make me laugh. I hadn’t thought about it over the years, but ever since the first time we met, when she offered me candy, she always seemed to have candy on her every other time we ran into each other. Even when I had been visiting at spring break during my last year of high school, Bang Bang just happened to have a candy bar on hand when I came to see her show with Harry and Vic.

After her show that night, she had held court with Harry, Vic, and me at the back of the club in one of the corner booths, telling filthy jokes, having drinks, and laughing uproariously. Of course, I had been underage then, so soda had been my drink of choice at A Straight Line—no point in getting my uncles and the bar into trouble. But I hadn’t needed to be inebriated to die laughing at Bang Bang’s irreverent humor. Bang Bang had made me feel like I was the only person in the world that mattered. Instead of working the room and basking in her regional celebrity status, she had taken a break for the night, especially for me. And, at the end of the night, when the bar was starting to close, and she rose from the booth to give me a hug, she slipped me a giant chocolate bar she had produced out of nowhere. With a wink, she had said:

Even if an evening has been perfect, it can still be improved with chocolate.

I guess it had been her way of saying that things can and will get better—no matter what had happened moments before. For some reason, I had never forgotten that. Maybe that’s why, as lonely and downtrodden as I had felt for the last few months, I still held out hope. It was most likely why moving in with Harry and Vic had been my first choice after deciding I had to make a change. I knew that even though my life had gone to shit—hadn’t turned out the way I had expected—being around my uncles and my community would somehow make it better. Eventually.

Of course, the next thing that came out of her mouth was:

Unless you can find a hot guy with a big dick. Then tell the chocolate to go fuck itself.

I smiled at the memory as I turned my head to look at the woman who had approached me.

“Uh, yeah?”

“I’m sorry,” She said, “Harry and Vic always seem to be busy out there. I was told that you might be able to help me?”

Denny was still picking at trays and popping bites of food into his mouth when I glanced over at him. Catering staff was cleaning up but also carrying fresh cases of drinks and ice outside to top off the troughs. Obviously, like everyone else, they didn’t expect the party to end anytime soon.

“I can try?” I said as I rinsed my hands, shut off the water, and reached for a dishtowel.

“I’m Katie,” She said.

Once my hands were dry, I took the hand she offered to me in greeting.

“Hi,” I said, “Russ. But, uh, you knew that.”

She laughed. “I was just wondering if you knew when Bang Bang would be here?”

Why does everyone keep asking me that?I’m not her freaking manager.

“No,” I said, “I really don’t know. I thought she’d be here by now, doing a show. Or enjoying the party, I guess?”

Katie sighed.

“I guess I’ll text my sitter and see if she can stay later,” She said. “I really wanted to talk to your uncles and see Bang Bang perform one last time.”

“I hate to say it, but I’m starting to wonder if Bang Bang is even going to show up.” I cringed.

“Oh, no.”