Page 22 of Talk to Me

Did that make me the strange one?

Were all of the viewers who left comments on Peepers videos normal, and I was a freak? What did it say about me that I could watch hours of videos about a person’s life and feel no differently about them? I’d enjoyed a lot of Theo’s videos—even Ben had a few fun ones—but I didn’t feel any closer to either of them. The videos didn’t seem…real. I felt like I was experiencing who they were through a filter. Like actors on T.V., Theo and Ben both remained strangers who had helped me spend hours wasting time entertaining myself.

No more; no less.

Ultimately, I decided that I was definitely not normal. However, people who got emotionally invested enough to drop disparaging comments online or shout insults at strangers in public who were minding their business weren’t either.

We were all fucked in the head, actually.

If you couldn’t find better things to do with your time, that was fine. Getting that emotionally invested in what was simply entertainment was not. When I set my phone on my desk Sunday afternoon, determined I had made my decision about the situation, I was satisfied. My “experiment” for the weekend had given me some clarity into the mindset of the students at Midway who were rude to Theo. They were not completely in touch with reality because they weren’t living in reality.

All in all, I figured the hours I’d wasted over the weekend on Peepers hadn’t been a complete loss. As a Communications major, it had given me more insight into the lives of people who lived online and constantly consumed content. That wasn’t unhelpful to someone in my major, and could actually be the topic for a future paper if I couldn’t think of anything better. Additionally, the “experiment” had taught me that I probably needed to objectively observe more online interactions with strangers to excel in my industry.

I hadn’t changed my mind about the internet and social media being evil, but I was beginning to understand the draw of it.

“I would bet a chunk of bills that you’ve been right there. All weekend.”

I jerked in my seat at the sound of Collin’s voice. Spinning in my desk chair, I found him standing inside our dorm, the door slowly shutting behind him. I’d been so deep in thought that I hadn’t even heard the door open. If I’d been in a horror movie, my guts would have been all over the wall before I could begin to scream.

“Well,” I said, frowning at him, “you’d be wrong.”

“Oh?” he chuckled and headed over to his desk, his bag sliding off his shoulder. “You made it to the bed and bathroom a few times?”

I couldn’t help but chuckle.

“I’ve been to the dining hall and the bathroom and bed, yeah,” I said.

Admitting to Collin that I’d spent most of the weekend in our dorm wasn’t going to happen. I’d been social enough during meals, but I hadn’t done anything exciting or to enrich my college experience. Telling him that would only add ammunition to his insult gun for future use.

“Look at you,” he cooed. “Going to the dining hall and stuff.”

“Guy’s gotta eat,” I said.

“Fair enough,” he replied, dropped his bag by his bed and slumped onto it. “Oh, my god. Dylan wore me out this weekend.”

He grinned evilly at me.

“I might actually keep this one through the whole school year!” He squealed. “I mean, he’s cute, he’s good in bed, and he thinks I’m the fucking best, so he might be a keeper.”

“I mean,” I said, “if you can find someone that delusional in your favor, why fuck it up, right?”

Collin glared at me playfully.

“That’s like spitting on God, to be honest.” I shrugged.

“Someone’s in a mood,” Collin said, crossing his arms over his chest. “I came back so you wouldn’t have to miss me for any longer than necessary, and this is how you treat me? Your best friend gave up spending more nights with his insatiable boyfriend for this?”

“Sorry,” I said. “I’m just teasing anyway. I’m glad Dylan makes you happy.”

Collin smiled immediately, lowering his arms.

“Well…ish,” he said. “He’s sooooooooo boring when we’re not fucking. But he’ll do for this year.”

I had nothing to say to that, so I didn’t say anything.

“So,” Collin began when he realized I had no response, “what have you been up to all weekend?”

“Mostly studying,” I replied, turning back to my desk. “You know how I roll.”