Page 10 of Kickoff

“No. I am not. I want us to be together. Officially.”

I snorted. “Come on. Be honest here. You’re always after me when you break things off with Copperman.”

“Dave and I, we’re done.”

“No. I’ve heard this many times before. You two are always on and off. He’ll say he’s sorry for whatever he has done this time, and you’ll go back to him. You always do. It’s like you’re only with me when you wanna piss him off. Like you have some sick QB fetichism. The Cowley High Cobras are our number-one enemies, and it won’t change. Fraternizing with the girlfriend of⁠—”

“Ex-girlfriend.”

“Whatever. Sleeping around with the girlfriend of their quarterback is like asking to get beaten up by the entire team. No, thanks, I’ll pass.”

I should have never let her sleep here last night. It had been a rookie mistake.

Yesterday, after an afternoon of excruciating pre-season football training where we ran drills for hours, I went out with the boys to grab some food. We were about to leave when I saw the only girl I’d ever loved climbing into Nathan Fucking Bellevue’s pickup truck, and I panicked. Lydia was there, ready to patch the hole in my heart for a night, and I took advantage. Now she was spinning this there’s an us crap on me at this hour, too early for me to be able to react nicely about it. My heart would never be able to beat for anyone else other than the one it had set its sights on, no matter how much I tried to. It was stupid. I knew it, but I was doomed, and I had accepted my fate a long time ago and rolled with it. If only I were brave enough to make a move, put myself out there, and be honest about my feelings, all this clusterfuck, and Lydia being here, could have been avoided.

I stepped to the left to open the dark curtains framing my bedroom window, revealing the off-white walls and charcoal trims. A queen-size bed with a striped black-and-charcoal comforter that Lydia was currently wrapped in—ughhh—was positioned against the wall next to the door, facing a desk with a dresser and a small A-frame dumbbell rack. A few posters of my idols were pinned on the wall above them. My room was quite simple, nothing too fancy. From here, I could spy on the house next door, but I averted my eyes before I was tempted to do so. “Now it’s daytime which means you gotta go. You really don’t wanna face my dad in the morning.”

A weird feeling rolled in the pit of my stomach as the words left my mouth.

I hated being that guy. Elk River High’s adored quarterback, whom the girls only saw as a trophy they could seduce. Yet, I pretended the role suited me and that I didn’t care about anyone but me when, in fact, I wasn’t interested in any relationship unless it was with the girl. The one my heart beat for. And so far, she couldn’t care to give me the time of day, so I acted out and ended up hooking up with Lydia to forget. What a joke.

Lydia moved to her knees on the mattress, not taking the time to cover her bare tits. “Mase, you can’t be serious. Can we please rethink this relationship?” she asked, motioning a finger between us. “What we have is precious. We get along great. There’s more to it than sex. This thing between us has nothing to do with Dave. I swear.”

“Nope.” I popped the P to emphasis my answer. “No relationship here. No breakfast cuddles. No kissing in the school hallways. We don’t have anything precious because we don’t have a thing, to begin with. Last night was a mistake. You and I, we’re done. I don’t wanna be that guy anymore. Anyway, I was clear on the specifics when you decided to tag along yesterday. You knew what you were getting into. It’s better to part ways now than to get mixed up in something neither of us is ready for.”

“But—”

“No but. It’s for the best. I’m going to take a shower, and the door will be locked. Don’t try to get in there with me.” Grabbing my phone from the bedside table, I checked the time. Eight-o-nine. “My folks will be downstairs in twenty minutes. You better be out before they get up.” In any other circumstances, I would have kissed her goodbye, but right now I felt sick to my stomach and was desperate to get as far as possible from the girl hinting at an us. Just the thought sent cold chills through my being. No, I wouldn’t mess things up more than they already were.

Under the stream of scorching water, I hung my head, my forehead pressed against the tiled wall. If only the hot jets could erase last night’s mistake. And so many nights similar to this one. I was being an idiot. I knew what I was doing, but I couldn’t stop. Because I had no clue how to pretend I wasn’t broken.

3

My behavior was a defense mechanism

Wearing a pair of washed-out jeans and a navy-blue cotton T-shirt that molded to my broad chest with the number twenty-two—my jersey and lucky number—printed in white on the front, I ran downstairs. I was ready to jumpstart my day and see if Lydia had left. There were no traces of her in my bedroom when I got dressed, and it erased some of the discomfort swirling inside me.

In the kitchen, Craig was sitting at the island with his girlfriend, Paige, two steaming mugs set before them on the counter. Just like the rest of the main floor, the room reminded me of a cozy ski chalet with its oak cabinets, cream walls, and black countertops and appliances. It had vault ceilings and a breakfast nook with a built-in corner oak bench and a square table framed by two large windows covered by dark teal-blue heavy linen curtains. It opened on the dining room on one side, and the wooden staircase on the other.

“Hey, you guys,” I said, stealing Paige’s coffee and bringing the mug to my lips while taking the stool opposite her. “How is it going, babe?” I leaned forward to plant a chaste kiss on her cheek. “When did you get here?”

Paige never spent the night. My parents had strict rules about girls staying over—rules I broke at least once a month. Not Craig, though.

Her clear laughter warmed my insides. She and I had that kind of relationship. “Good. Got here fifteen minutes ago. Met your friend in the driveway.” She made air quotes around the word friend with her fingers. “Mase, I won’t repeat what she said. But, geez, some words were not meant for tender ears.”

I flicked my free hand in a dismissive gesture. “Babe, don’t believe everything you hear.”

My brother removed the mug from my grip and put it back before her. “Don’t babe my girlfriend, man. We’ve been over this many times already. Get your own coffee and your own girl and call my girl Paige. Stop flirting with her.”

I winked. “Don’t mind him, babe. He’s grumpy in the morning.” I took another sip of her coffee, and she let me. Yes, we were friends, and I shamelessly flirted with her in a non-sexual kind of way every chance I got. Paige was family. She was a great audience, always laughing at my lame jokes and cheering on me even when I acted like an idiot. Yeah, my brother had hit the jackpot with his girlfriend.

Paige mirrored my smile, her fingers intertwining with my brother’s, using her other hand to tame his tousled hair in an affectionate manner. “He’s not.” I lifted one brow, and she chuckled. “Okay, maybe a bit. Caffeine should kick in and chase his moodiness away. Eventually.”

I smirked, and her grin widened.

“Stop teaming up against me,” my brother complained, unable to keep his face straight as he said it, a smile breaking free when he shook his head. “What happened with Lydia? I had to put a pillow over my head last night to muffle her moans. She kept screaming Harder…Mase, and I almost puked in my own mouth. You’re lucky Mom and Dad’s bedroom isn’t next to ours; otherwise, you would have gotten caught this time around.”

We both knew Lydia wasn’t much of a screamer, but Craig loved to mess with me for the sake of it, so I indulged in his game and displayed my cockiest smile. “What can I say? I have talents, man. Don’t be jealous. If you ever want pointers, I’m always available to teach you how it’s done in case you lack technique.” He rolled his eyes, and my humor died down. “Anyway, that was the last time. She won’t be coming back.”