Page 133 of Kickoff

“Fine. But you tell me if it gets too much, okay?”

“Deal.”

“And please don’t break her heart. I know firsthand how shitty it is. She’s already lost Mel, so she can’t lose you too. Whatever it is, fix it.”

He nodded. “Do you think Mel will ever forgive her?”

“No idea. She’s pretty hurt. It was like she was pushing me away earlier not because she wanted to, but because she thought it was the right thing to do. Maybe therapy will help. She’s not on speaking terms with her parents either. I think until she decides she wants to heal and it comes from her instead of from the people around her, there’s nothing we can do. If she doesn’t recognize there’s a problem in the first place, why would she want to deal with it?”

He moved to his feet and held out his hand to help me up. “That’s sick. Sucks to be you right now.”

“Yep. It sucks balls.”

“Are you going to survive?”

“Yep.” It felt like this was one of the only few words remaining in my vocabulary today. “What other choice do I have?”

“None. Sorry, man. I wish I had some words of wisdom right now. Wanna grab some food before going home?”

“Yep… Huh, sure.”

“Follow me then. My treat.”

I made my way inside, trying to avoid my parents and having to explain why I probably looked dejected. I felt crestfallen inside, so I had no doubt I looked the part too.

“Oh, it’s you,” Mom said, nearing me with an empty mug in hand. “I thought it would be your dad. He’s working so many hours these days that it’s like he’s never home anymore.”

I gave her a half-shrug. “At least Craig sees him.”

“They’re going through something. Nothing that concerns you for now.”

“Nothing ever concerns me these days. Everyone keeps me in the dark. Now that we won State and I committed to college, no one cares what I’m doing anymore. I have served my purpose, and now I’m not useful to anyone. I’m just fucking tired of people pushing me away.”

“Mase, language.”

I snorted. “Sorry. I’m not fucking tired. I’m just tired.”

Mom stared at me with a quirked eyebrow. “And you think sarcasm will work on me?”

I kept quiet, glancing at the hardwood floor, avoiding her eyes. If I knew something for sure, it was that my mother could smell bullshit miles away.

“Want to tell me what’s on your mind?”

I shrugged, my eyes still glued to the floor. “Not really.”

“Where’s your brother?”

“Paige’s.”

“Come, sit with me. Let’s chat.”

“Mom…”

“Don’t Mom me, Mason. I know the look, and I would be a very awful mother if I let you go to your bedroom before making sure you’re okay.”

“I’m fine.”

“If only you were a great liar. Where’s Mr. Optimism? I only saw him for a few minutes days ago. Care to tell me where he’s hiding?”