Page 45 of Thaw My Heart

Last year, he spent four months in rehab. A wagon he’s been on and off before, and I don’t want to watch him go through it again. It was hard enough begging my uncle to let him stay on the ranch after that entire ordeal. If it happened again… well, I don’t think Cole could look the other way again. And this ranch was good for Ryker. Hell, it was good for all of us, but especially Ryker.

Some days, I think he needed it more than I did.

“And you smell really bad,” I grumble. Stale beer and fish, which is a terrible combination.

He laughs. “Sorry.”

We sit for a moment in silence, watching the sun rise behind the mountains. Bright orange and pink hues fill the never-ending Montana sky. A ray of light beams on the snowy peaks, highlighting the snow in gold. But as beautiful as the view is, I’m still worried that Ryker is struggling more than he lets on.

I glance at the military tag around his neck, glinting in the soft morning light. “If you need help, Ryker⁠—”

His hand lands on my shoulder, holding it firm. “I’m fine. Stop worrying about me.”

But I am worried about him. Ryker is like a younger brother to me, and I can’t see him hurt like that again.

“But you should be worrying about this hot neighbor situation,” he smirks. “When are you gonna do something about that?”

I sigh. “I’m not having this conversation again.”

“Because it’s too hard?” he grins.

I glare with animosity. Good thing I didn’t mention Sadie offering to go to her knees for me. He’d never stop mocking me. “No, because I do not like Sadie like that,” the words shake unevenly in my chest, giving away my lie.

He laughs. “You are seriously in denial.”

“No, I’m not,” my voice cracks. Fuck I’m a terrible liar. It’s like my whole body just rejects it.

“What happened with Alaska?” he asks. “Is that what’s preventing you from having a little fun?”

“No,” I roll my tongue. “She said what she needed to say. And… well, I don’t know.” I still haven’t truly processed her words to me. Only that she’s right. I don’t feel the same way. I’m still not sure what I felt for her all those months ago, but Alaska deserves better than lukewarm feelings, especially now that she’s going to be a mother.

“It’s all in the past now, I guess.”

He nods.

I glance at my wristwatch. My meeting with Cole starts in ten minutes. “I need to get going.” I stand, feeling a cold breeze bite my skin. “What are your plans for today?” I tuck my hands into my pockets.

“Fishing,” he smiles, gesturing to the river. “Come join me after you decide to man up.”

“You’re hard to like, you know that?” I frown at him.

“Yeah, I know. Good thing I’m easy to love,” he teases, stroking his mustache. I shake my head, and he stands, setting the fishing pole down on the dock. “Why’d you really come here this morning?”

“To check on you,” I reiterate.

He shakes his head. “You’re my best friend, man. I can tell when something’s on your mind. What is it?”

I stare at my boots. “I’m fine.”

He stifles a laugh. “You’re not fine. Fuck, you haven’t been fine in over nine months. You’re mildly depressed. Angry. Damn near antisocial, and I don’t blame you. But you know,” he steps closer to me. “That night at the bar is the most alive I’ve seen you in a long time.”

My eyes narrow. “Don’t you start⁠—”

“Just saying, she does something to you,” he interjects.

“She irritates me,” I snap.

He laughs. “Yeah, I saw that too. But there’s something else, isn’t there? Something you can’t explain,” he searches my eyes.