Page 98 of Thaw My Heart

Cole and Annie give me the warmest hug as I walk through the threshold, asking us to get comfortable on the big couch in the living room, where Annie has prepared tea and cookies. A massive antler chandelier hangs above, casting warm light around the room. Kit sits on one end of the couch, and I decide to sit on the other, earning me a strange look from Cole. I’ve probably just made this whole thing awkward, but I couldn’t give one less of a fuck.

“Can you turn that off?” Kit frustratingly points to the radio, softly playing Christmas music.

Cole nods, turning it off. Leaving the room in complete and awkward silence, besides the soft crackle of the fireplace and the faint hum of the Christmas tree lights changing.

I think our dinner date was less tense than this.

“So…” Annie starts to say, pouring a cup of tea for her and Cole. “How was the party?”

“Fine,” we respond in unison, but my words are far more venomous.

“Good, good,” Annie says, mindlessly, like maybe those words will break the tension in the room—a very gorgeous room, decorated for the Christmas season. A splattering of fancy paintings fills the walls, along with family portraits, and a pair of grand elk horns hang above the fireplace, like a hunting trophy. Similar to the ones in Kit’s bedroom.

“Do you hunt?” I ask Cole, making conversation.

Cole glances at Kit. “We used to when he was a boy. Elk horns are a Harlow family tradition, a sort of heirloom we’ve been passing down for generations.” He points to the elk horns hanging above the fireplace. “I earned those hunting with my father. Kit has a similar pair at his place. Smaller, if I remember correctly,” Cole smiles, teasingly.

Kit sighs, glaring at Cole. “Like a fraction smaller.”

Cole laughs, a chesty laugh that ruptures deep in his throat. I nod, sipping from my tea, not wanting to think about size when it comes to Kit. Size isn’t his problem; his coldness is.

“So, have you shown him your newspaper collection yet?” Cole asks me, and I nearly spit out my tea.

My face is red in an instant. “Oh, he found them.”

“Sadie’s a true fan of Lone Pine,” Cole smiles.

“I know she is,” is all Kit says with a sigh, rubbing at the scruff on his face.

The next quiet minute that passes feels like an eternity. I’m not even sure why we’re here when Kit clearly doesn’t want anything more from me than a weekend of sex. And it’s as clear as day as we sit on opposite sides of the couch, miles apart, while Cole and Annie stare at us, looking as awkward as I feel. What’s the point of doing this?

Why did Kit even agree to it?

“Well, we’re quite impressed with your work, Sadie,” Cole chimes in, clearing his throat. “You were right in your interview. You work just as hard as the men.”

“She works harder,” Kit defends with a smile in my direction. His blue eyes meet mine, and for a moment, I’m reminded of how good it feels to have his attention. To look in his eyes and get swallowed up by the blue.

You used me, just like you’re using me right now.

Felt. How good it felt.

My blood boils. Maybe he’s okay with pretending, or whatever the fuck this is, but I can’t stand it for a minute longer. “Thank you for the tea.” I set the cup down, hands shaking. “I can’t do this. I’m sorry.” With that, I storm out of the room, holding back tears.

Kit’s there a moment later, braced against the front door before I can open it. “Sadie⁠—”

“Don’t,” I snap. “I’m going home.”

“Let me take you.”

With a shake of my head, I’m out the door, intent on walking home. It’ll take me at least forty minutes, but I need the air.

Need the space.

“Just leave me alone, Kit,” I call out, hearing his boots crunching in the gravel behind me.

“Can we please talk?” he asks.

Maybe it’s the adrenaline, or the fact that my emotions are on a tightly wound string, but I laugh. “I really don’t see the point. You have made this very clear, Kit.” And perhaps this is what I needed anyway. I’ve become far too attached too quickly.