Page 140 of Queen of War and Ruin

“Oh, because he’s not royalty?” I push. “So, better like Laurance? Because he was born a prince?”

“No,” Zarek says, shaking his head. “Not like that. Just— Gods, you saw what happened in Ethiria.”

“Yes,” I reply. “I did. I saw you realize we were in trouble before anyone else did. I saw you come up with a way to get us out. And then I saw you stand up and distract the guards so the rest of us could escape.”

“That’s not what I meant,” he says. “And that didn’t work, did it?”

“It worked just fine,” I reply. “Look, here we are!”

“Damn it, I fell apart!” he snaps.

His voice echoes off the rocks, leaving both of us stunned. Zarek turns away and shakes his head.

“Fuck,” he mutters. “You deserve someone who can protect you, Princess. Someone who isn’t—weak.”

“Stop it.” I step forward and grab his hand. “You’re comparing yourself to something that doesn’t exist.”

He makes a sound that’s probably supposed to be a laugh. But he doesn’t look at me. Silence pools between us, as cold as the water tumbling off the mountains.

“You know what I thought when I held that blade to Laurance’s throat?” I ask.

He doesn’t respond. I push on anyway.

“I thought I was protecting you,” I admit. “And look how well that worked out. Maybe if I’d gone along with it for one damn day, that elf wouldn’t have dragged you back to Vsenrog. So, it’s not like my plans worked out any better.”

He finally turns to meet my gaze, a small, sad smile on his lips.

“But, here I am,” he whispers. “Your plan wasn’t so bad after all.”

Gods, I can’t stop myself. I kiss him, light and soft, and then pull away before he can react.

“Here I am too,” I whisper. “You did protect me.”

He blinks; his eyes shine in the bright sunlight. And the truth wells up inside me like a spring, fierce and pure and utterly unstoppable.

“You’re right,” I agree. “I didn’t choose this marriage. I never thought I’d have a choice, not for anything important. But—” I swallow hard, then press on. “I would choose it now. I would choose it every day, for the rest of my life. I⁠—”

I’m trembling. I take a breath, then force myself to tell him what I’ve known ever since I found him on the floor in the Vsenrog palace and realized just how much of myself would die if I lost him.

“I love you,” I whisper.

And then I kiss my husband again.

He kisses me back, softly and almost hesitantly. When he pulls away, he’s smiling at me in a way that makes me feel like my heart is going to burst, that it can’t possibly hold all of this. His fingers brush my cheek.

“Princess,” he whispers, and then he shakes his head. “I don’t know what kind of life I’ll be able to offer you, once all this is over.”

I laugh. I can’t help it; it’s hard enough for me to think about what might happen tomorrow, when we finally reach Elrick. I can’t even begin to think about what my life might look like if we survive this war.

“Gods, Zarek,” I say, wrapping my hand around his. “I do not care what kind of life we have.”

He smiles, but there’s something sad in the curve of his lips. I think about the ruins of the castle of Dungal. The roses climbing over the rubble of the tiny house that once held his entire family.

“Dungal,” I say.

Zarek blinks.

“Remember?” I ask. “The house with the big garden and the lake?”