Page 70 of Grumpy Bear

“It would be a nice life.” It would be if it didn’t break every vow I’d made to myself. After finally getting out of the relationship with Jeremy and coming all this way, suddenly having these opportunities in front of me… I didn’t know that I could trust myself not to fuck up either option, either way. “I’m grateful to you, but—”

He sagged. “But it’s not the life you’re looking for.”

“No, that’s not what I’m saying at all. This place is amazing. And you’re…” I waved my hand. How could I tell him what I thought he could be to me after only knowing him as long as I had? “I just… don’t want to make the same mistake again.”

Mistake. That word. I regretted it the moment it was out of my mouth.

He sighed. “I get it.” He was nodding his head. “I do. But listen.” He dragged himself off the bed and started dressing. “It’s Sunday. A shit ton of people are gonna be checking out of here. I need to get my day started.”

“That’s cool.” I sat up and looked around for my clothes.

“Can we talk about this later though?” He winced like there was even a possibility I might say no.

“Of course.” I absolutely wanted a chance to explain, to say what I really meant, what I felt. That being with him was amazing. That the last thing in the world I wanted to do was fuck shit up with him. That he was not a mistake. “What about me? Where do you want me today?”

He leaned over to kiss me on the lips twice, and then once on the forehead. “Well, first, you probably need to get to your breakfast meeting.” He smiled. I could tell he was trying really hard to be encouraging. “Go get some coffee. That Brad dude’ll be looking for you.”

31

Sawyer

Why had I allowed myself to think for even one second that camp romance rules wouldn’t apply to me? Luke had only worked here for two days, so I couldn’t pin it on him. What was my excuse?

Everybody knew how this went down. Everybody.

Thank God Jim already had a line out the door—guys settling up their tabs or returning their cabin keys—because he’d take one look at me and know. I’m sure it was in my aura or whatever.

I went into the back of the office, grabbing my clipboard and a fresh radio without him seeing me. Out on the deck, I performed some semiconvincing hearty goodbyes for the guests who stopped me. Everywhere I went, men were putting their numbers in each other’s phones, promising to connect online, going in for last kisses and gropes. The usual camp farewells.

Poor bastards.

Checking to see if the dining hall needed anything, I cleared exactly four dirty coffee mugs and took them back to the kitchen.

Levi slammed a vat of bacon on the island and looked at me like I had two heads. “What the fuck are you doing?”

“Bussing dishes. What the fuck does it look like I’m doing?”

“Since when do you bus dishes?”

“When do I not bus dishes?”

Levi raised an eyebrow but turned back to the grill without saying anything else. He rarely passed up an opportunity to order me out of his kitchen.

“Asshole,” I muttered, slamming the door on my way back out.

Bailey found me wiping down tables and offered to take over.

“I got it,” I snapped, instantly regretting my tone. “Go run the bacon before it gets cold, please.”

Luke, Brad What’s-his-face, and Trey were sitting at one of the outdoor tables, heads together watching something on an iPhone. Brad was talking animatedly, and Luke was listening, his expression intent, his legs crossed, and his foot bouncing nervously.

Over the top of his coffee mug, Trey was watching me watching them.

I went back inside to switch out my dirty rag for a fresh one. I wasn’t going to give anybody the satisfaction of thinking I was hovering or spying. The next time I looked through the French doors, Luke was pacing, talking on Brad’s phone I presumed, since I knew his didn’t work.

He was smiling. Grinning from ear to ear.

Fuck.