Page 71 of Grumpy Bear

He was getting that audition. He was arranging it right there in front of me, at that very moment. For two seconds, a cold bolt of jealousy shot through me, but it quickly evaporated, leaving an empty, helpless disappointment behind.

And more guilt. That I should be happier for him.

I wanted Luke to get what he wanted. I didn’t want to trap him here and have him resent me the way I had Wayne.

What I really wanted most was for him to want to be here. With me. But I couldn’t fault him for the promises he’d made to himself. I didn’t want him to give up an opportunity.

He’d been honest with me about his dream and his mistakes.

I’d connected with a lot of men here over the years. This was something else. This wasn’t a transaction. This couldn’t be released with a Good times, man. See you around. Luke was another animal entirely.

Shit.

The camp romance phenomenon had finally caught up with me. All my cynicism about the guys who fell fast and hard… I had thought I was jaded and hardened and immune, but I hadn’t really ever put my heart out there. I thought it was my choice to give it away.

It dawned on me a little late—and the realization took me completely by surprise—that my heart could be taken from me. And there wasn’t a damned thing I could do about it.

Except get over it.

If I could.

For both our sakes.

32

Luke

Nobody seemed to know where Coleman was. With all the activity as so many people left, he could have been anywhere. He hadn’t been in the cabin thirty minutes ago, but I sent up a silent prayer and checked again. I didn’t have much time, I still needed to get my things, and I couldn’t leave without talking to him.

As I reached to try the knob, the door swung open.

“Hey!” Coleman stood there, shirtless and barefoot. Excruciatingly handsome.

“Where were you?”

He gestured vaguely. “Everywhere. Working.”

We stared at each other. I wondered if there was any way he could decode the complexity of my emotions because I couldn’t. “Can I—?”

“Of course.” He frowned slightly and stepped aside. “You don’t have to ask.” He went to his dresser and pulled out a drawer. “So, how’d it go?” His voice was casual, but his face was expectant, maybe a little nervous.

Holding the guitar case with both hands, I wandered into the middle of the room, watching him shake out a fresh shirt. How was I supposed to deliver my good news when it wasn’t accepting his offer to stay? “Well, I talked to Brad, then he put me on the phone with his friend Gary. He’s the one who’s casting for the show…”

Coleman pulled the shirt over his head and made an impatient rolling gesture. “And?”

“And…” I shrugged and smiled. “It seems legit.” I tried to put genuine excitement into my voice, but it sounded forced to my own ears. “He liked the video of me playing at the bonfire, and he wants me to come audition.”

He turned and put his hands on his hips, a too-bright smile creasing the corners of his eyes. “That’s awesome! Congrats.”

“Well, it’s just an audition. But if I get on the show…” I trailed off. I’d already babbled about all that last night. “I’m still trying to process it. Part of me can’t believe this is happening.”

He blinked slowly, his eyes softening. “I’m really happy for you. Really.”

“Thanks.” Why did Coleman saying he was happy for me make me feel this unhappy? “I already told Jim.”

Coleman was still smiling—beaming, really—which was starting to look a little creepy on him. “I bet he’s excited.”

“He, uh, screamed.” I chuckled.