Page 109 of Glutton for Punishment

His face falls.

“You pretending not to know me in public.” My voice cracks despite my efforts to keep it steady. “Keeping me at arm’s length. Acting like I’m the scum on your shoe.”

“No Arwen. I promise it won’t be like that—”

“How can it not?” I whisper.

I’m just tired. Tired of being something people have to hide. Tired of being the complication.

My heart breaks a little, even though I know he is doing this for me. I can’t bear to continue this conversation, so I squeeze his hand and give him a small smile before stepping into my room and closing the door.

Chapter 31

Arwen

Later, long after Atticus has gone back to his room, I slip quietly into the hallway.

The corridor is silent, the plush carpet swallowing my footsteps as I tiptoe the short distance to Maddox’s door.

I knock, and the door swings open almost immediately. Maddox stands there, surprise flashing across his face.

“What are you doing out by yourself?” he asks at once, scanning the hall behind me. “Where’s Atticus?”

Before I can answer, he catches my wrist and pulls me inside, shutting the door behind me.

“He went back to his room hours ago,” I say. “And you’re two doors down, not across the continent.”

He ignores that.

“What are you doing here?” he asks again, softer this time.

I study his face. He looks exhausted. The kind of exhaustion that sleep does not fix. My courage nearly abandons me, but I clear my throat and stare at the floor.

“I...” My voice comes out smaller than intended. “I was hoping I could stay with you tonight… since I’ll be heading to the academy soon.”

I look up cautiously, nervous to see his expression.

Maddox is staring at me like I have just spoken another language.

“What?” I ask, self-conscious.

“I just thought...” He swallows, fumbling over the words in a way so unlike him it makes my chest ache. “I thought you wanted nothing to do with me. That’s why I’ve left you alone.”

Without thinking, I take both of his hands in mine and tug him toward the bed, sitting side down beside him as his eyes find mine.

“Maddox,” I say gently, “I care about you. You’re my bonded and my friend. Nothing is going to change that. I know it was confusing, the way we left things, but you have to know, even though I can’t stay here, my feelings for you are just as strong as they were before.”

He searches my eyes.

“Do I like the way things are going here?” I continue. “No. But I can understand your side of things.” I squeeze his hand. “I just need time. And distance. Away from all of this.”

I gesture vaguely at the entire building. The city. The madness of Gluttony.

“Before it changes me too much. But it’s this place I’m leaving,” I whisper. “Not you. I hope you know that.”

He exhales like he has been holding his breath for weeks. Then he reaches up and hooks a finger beneath my chin, tilting my face toward his.

“I’m coming to you as soon as possible,” he says quietly. “As soon as I get things sorted here, I’m coming back to the academy. I want to be with you, Arwen. Once I handle what needs handling. I’ll be there.”