Page 83 of Ash Fall

Of course I have to work with those two. The universe hates me right now.

It’s dark out now but Gramps somehow organized getting a few work lights set up so we could see. It’s tricky work, trying to coordinate Mars’ shadows to roll out the poly while Jules uses air pressure to hold it in place so I can paint the edges to secure it. It doesn’t help that Jules has a bit going about starting a business, Stillwell and Friends Apocalypse Construction, free estimates, ask about our volcano package. Mars laughs at some of it. Gramps tells him to save his air for useful things.

I say nothing.

Every joke he makes adds another layer of anger inside me. He’s standing there being funny four hours after putting his mouth on her, and he doesn't even have the decency to look guilty about it.

It takes us an hour before Gramps declares it satisfactory and heads inside to find somewhere to sleep. By then I’ve had enough of being anywhere near these guys.

"That," Jules announces, "is a grade A deluxe Stillwell and Friends window. When I got up this morning I did not picture myself being on a construction crew. Just goes to show the depth of my talents is limitless."

He turns to me with his hand up for a high five, expression filled with pride at doing something out of his skill set, and something in me finally breaks loose.

I turn my back on him and start walking.

"Okay, enough," His voice follows me. "What the fuck is up your ass tonight?"

I keep going.

The air hits me square between the shoulder blades then, a short hard gust that shoves me forward a step, and that is the last thing my temper needed to blow.

I spin around and heave.

The ground goes out from under him. I don't think about it, I just pull, and a three foot wide piece of sod kicks up under Julian's feet and dumps him flat on his ass in the dirt.

"What the fuck, man!"

Mars is three steps off and already moving, shadows spilling down around his hands, head swinging between us because he has no idea what he's looking at.

I walk over and stand over Julian.

"Congratulations," I tell him sounding angry but also defeated. "You fucking win."

He gets up onto one elbow, and for once in his life he looks completely blank. "Win? Win what? Did I forget we made a bet about something?"

"I saw you." I jab a finger back toward the bay. "Behind the motorhome. You and Reid. With Luna."

Mars's head whips around so fast I hear it.

Julian shoves to his feet, and every bit of easygoing Jules is gone. He's furious now.

"It's not a competition you asshat!" He gets right up in my face. "It never was, Gage. You're just too stubborn to see it. We all love her. She loves all of us, every one of us, and she has for a while. The only way this works, the only way anybody wins, is if she's happy. That means we all make her happy."

"Fuck off with that harem shit." I say it low and mean. "It works in books because books are fiction. That's the only reason. Real life doesn't work like that, and I want no part of it."

"Real life, huh?" Julian laughs at me, one hard ugly note, and throws his arm up at the sky. "Look up. Go on, look. What exactly is your definition of real life now that you can practically reach out to touch the moon, earth and stone does what you tell it to, there’s a large naked wolf-man running around out there and we’re about to move into mine for safety from the impending ash cloud of doom?"

I don't want to, but I look up anyway.

The moon hangs over the coulees, cracked open, filling half the sky the way it has since the night everything ended. There's a film across it tonight that wasn't there yesterday, thin and brown, dulling the light coming off it.

"Does any of that look or sound like real life to you?" His voice cracks on it. "Every single one of us could be dead by Thursday. I love that girl enough to want her to have everything she wants. All of it. Four men keeping her safe, four men making her happy, every good thing she's got coming to her after what this world has already taken." He shoves a finger into my chest. "I guess you just don't love her the same way the rest of us do."

"Don't. Don’t you dare say that."

"Then go." He steps back and opens his arms wide. "Go on. Go break her heart, and then be miserable all by yourself, because you're too small minded and too selfish to give her what she actually needs."

I stand there with my jaw locked hard enough to hurt.