Page 47 of A Christmas Wish for the Village Midwife

‘I imagine she’s preoccupied with Ezra too. It’s going to be different for her with his disability.’

Fern nodded. ‘Where do you want to go? It’s just that the buses⁠—’

‘Don’t be daft. I’ll pick you up! Where would you like to go? The world’s your oyster… as long as it’s within ten miles of Thimblebury…’

‘I don’t mind,’ Fern said. ‘Somewhere quite cheap, I suppose, if that’s OK.’

‘Don’t worry about that. Let me check with Alex and Billie what their plans for the weekend are, and then I can give you a day and time. Is that OK?’

‘Will Billie be coming?’ Fern asked.

Zoe detected the faint note of doubt in her voice. It had been there in the beginning but had cleared as the conversation had progressed. Now it was back, and it was telling that the question of Billie’s coming to their lunch seemed to have revived it.

‘I don’t know that she’d want to. She might. Would it be a problem if she did?’

‘No,’ Fern said, but Zoe could tell it wasn’t what she meant. ‘So should I definitely ask Maisie too then? Will it be all of us?’

Zoe was thoughtful for a moment. ‘Maybe we will make it just us two. If we explain why we’re meeting up and that we have to stay on the subject, I’m sure Billie and Maisie will understand. The trouble with it being all of us is that it will be easy to get sidetracked into general gossip, and we’re meeting for a purpose, aren’t we?’

Fern nodded again, more eagerly this time, seemingly soothed by Zoe’s suggestion.

‘Great,’ Zoe said. ‘I’ll text you. Are you going straight back home now?’

‘Yes.’

‘Do you want a lift?’

‘It’s all right. It’s your lunchtime, and there’s a bus in ten minutes. I can get that. Thank you.’

‘Thank you!’ Zoe smiled as she got up. ‘It’s exciting to know you’re interested in becoming a midwife. I think you’ll be brilliant if you decide to go for it.’

Zoe saw Fern out, and reflected on how much she’d felt her parting statement, more than she could express. She’d developed a kind of pride in some of the young women she’d cared for during their pregnancies, and for those like Fern and Maisie, it could never be overstated. They’d both overcome so much on their journey so far, and Zoe liked to think she’d helped in some small way. She was excited to see where their lives took them, hopeful it would be somewhere good because somewhere good was what they deserved.

Zoe walked into the field, hopeful she’d be allowed to visit the newest member of Victor’s alpaca family. The sun had long set, and Alex had wanted to walk with her, but Zoe had persuaded him, with a quiet aside, that she ought to take Billie instead. Billie’s seeming disinterest in Dandelion’s cria was ringing alarm bells for Zoe. She couldn’t be sure, but she wanted to see for herself that there were no signs that the mental health issues Billie had suffered with after the birth of Louisa had returned.

‘Are you sure you’ll be able to put her to bed?’

Billie had seemed sceptical when Alex had offered to take care of Louisa while she and Zoe went to Daffodil Farm.

‘Bill…’ Alex had ushered her to the door, Louisa gurgling in his arms. ‘I used to put you to bed on the regular, and you turned out OK, didn’t you?’

‘Yes, but that was ages ago.’

‘And I’m sure it can’t have changed that much.’

‘She needs her cloth square…’ Billie had continued to fuss as she got her coat on. ‘But not where she can get it over her face. Tie it to the bars of her cot… but where she can reach it so she can hold on. But make sure she can’t get it too close… and then she wants her dummy, and⁠—’

‘They’ll be fine.’ Zoe had smiled, leading Billie out. She’d almost been able to detect the sigh as the responsibility left Billie’s shoulders the minute they went through the garden gate. The younger woman placed a huge amount of pressure on herself to do everything right for her daughter, and sometimes Zoe wondered if she was too hard on herself.

The conversation as they crossed the fields briefly turned to Christmas events in the village. Zoe asked what Billie was most looking forward to, but she merely answered with a shrug that Zoe only saw the outline of in the gloom. They had a large torch, the beam sweeping across the ground ahead to make sure nobody turned an ankle, and occasionally Zoe would catch a dark shape flitting away from the light. The air was frosted, colder and drier than it had been in previous weeks, and it finally felt as if the weather was going to become as festive as the season demanded.

‘You don’t mind that I’m going to meet Fern by myself at the weekend?’ Zoe asked, though she’d already checked with Billie, who had replied carelessly that she had no opinion on the matter either way. ‘Only, I don’t want you to feel we’re leaving you and Maisie out of anything. It’s just that because it’s about midwifery training, you’d both probably be bored. I do tend to go on when you get me onto the subject.’

‘I might have been interested in training,’ Billie said, with as much carelessness as she had previously.

‘Would you?’

‘Maybe, but I’ve got Louisa, so it’s pointless to think about anything like that. She’s too little for me to go off to uni.’