Page 48 of A Christmas Wish for the Village Midwife

‘Fern’s got Benji.’

‘I’m just saying that’s my opinion. Fern can do what she wants; it’s not what I’d do.’

‘I suppose everyone has their own way,’ Zoe agreed. ‘What’s good for one isn’t good for another.’

‘I wouldn’t want to start something I couldn’t finish.’

‘What do you mean?’

‘If Fern decides it’s tough, because she doesn’t get to see Benji or whatever, then she’d have to quit, and she’d have wasted everyone’s time.’

‘She might not quit. I think she’s got the sort of personality that will be able to see it through. Even if she had to take a break from the course for a year or two, she’d keep the learning credits she’d earned, and she could finish it later. Either way, I’d bet on her getting there… I wouldn’t agree to help if I didn’t.’

‘Yeah, but you said yourself you’re obsessed with the job, so you think anyone wanting to do it is a win.’

‘I don’t know if I’d put it quite like that!’ Zoe let out an uncertain laugh. ‘I wouldn’t want just anyone doing it!’

‘You never asked me if I was interested.’

‘You never made out that you were. Billie… I would support you one hundred per cent if you wanted to train, you know that. But you’ve never shown any signs you’re interested. I thought you’d probably want to work for your dad at some point. You said when you were pregnant it would suit you because you’d be able to look after Louisa while you worked. Has something changed?’

‘No; I’m only pointing out that you never asked. You and dad assumed that’s what I’d want.’

‘I seem to recall you said it was what you wanted.’

‘Maybe because I didn’t realise I had any other choice.’

Zoe wasn’t sure how she or Alex were meant to know something Billie didn’t take the time to articulate, but she decided that saying so would cause a bad atmosphere that might turn into an argument. It wasn’t that she was afraid to have one if it was necessary to understand what was going on with Billie, but this wasn’t the time for it, not now they’d arranged to go and visit Victor and Corrine and see the newborn. It was hardly the mood she wanted to take to Daffodil Farm.

‘If we didn’t take your feelings into consideration, then I’m sorry – we didn’t mean it. If not working for your dad, what do you see yourself doing? I’m not asking because I think it should be one thing or another; I just want to understand. Where do you see yourself in the next few years? In Thimblebury? At Hilltop?’

‘I don’t know.’

‘But you must have some idea.’

‘I can’t tell you just like that! I haven’t thought about it because I’ve been too busy with Louisa.’

Zoe was silent again. She could see her breath in the torch beam as she followed it, keeping an eye on her footing. She didn’t believe for a minute that Billie had given her future no thought but, once again, decided that it would be safer for the time being to drop the subject.

They didn’t speak again until they were at the door of Daffodil farmhouse. Corrine opened up before they’d knocked, as she often did.

‘I saw you walk up the path,’ she said, as if it needed explanation. She was usually in the kitchen doing something or other – not because it was expected of her, she’d hasten to add to anyone who would point out that she didn’t have to be, but because it was her favourite place to be. ‘Come in. There’s tea in the pot.’

As Zoe and Billie took off their boots and coats, Corrine fussed over them.

‘How’s the little one? I bet she’s almost walking… You must bring her over next time… Oh yes, of course, she’ll be in bed… And Alex is busy? I expect he’s got plenty to do on the camping field… It’s out of season, but the work never stops, does it? The same for Victor, yes, even when there are no visitors, there’s always something to do… He’s up at the alpaca field now with the girls… Have some tea and cake before you walk up there… In fact, I’ll go with you; he’ll be wanting some sandwiches, hasn’t had his tea yet…’

She went on like this for ten minutes or so, where it was as much as Zoe or Billie could do to give answers to her many queries.

‘Have you thought any more about renting out Kestrel Cottage?’ Zoe asked as she bit into the most divine chocolate brownie she’d ever tasted.

‘Not much…’ Corrine handed some cake to Billie. ‘Victor says it’s bound to be slow on the rental market this close to Christmas, so there’s no need to worry about it until the new year. Truth be told, we don’t really need the money from it – we only ever built it so Melanie could live there, and, well…’ She gave an awkward shrug.

Zoe had heard all about the scandal that had rocked Thimblebury which had resulted in Corrine and Victor’s daughter moving out of the cottage they’d gifted her when her marriage broke up. The cottage had been left empty until Zoe had rented it, and then it had been taken again briefly by her dad, but he had also been forced to leave under difficult circumstances. Zoe had been relieved that neither Victor nor Corrine had held that against her, but she felt bad that they were once again left with an empty house and no rental income, and even though it had been beyond her control, she also felt a little guilty about it. ‘Why do you ask? Do you have someone in mind? We’d have loved to have young Fern in there, but she couldn’t afford it, and she wouldn’t hear of a discount, and then she got the house with Maisie… which I don’t blame her for at all.’

‘Sorry.’ Zoe sipped at her tea. ‘I wish I could say yes, but I don’t know anyone. I had wondered if our locum nurse Shabana might want it, but she said they wouldn’t want to rent, and she’s about ready for her maternity leave anyway.’

‘That’s a shame,’ Corrine said. ‘She’d have been perfect. It’s just the right size for a little family too.’