Page 73 of The Intimacy of Finding You

I shook my head, crossing the small distance between us. “We’re already okay, baby doll. I know things will only get better from here.”

“I’m just so fucking grateful to have you again.”

I understood that all too well. There was a time when I thought I’d never see him again, and I never fully accepted that. My heart kept yearning, despite the chances seeming slimmer and slimmer that he’d come back. “You’ve got me. From now until the end of time. I promise.”

He nuzzled his nose with mine, leaning in to kiss me. Kissing Tobi would never get boring. Now that I could do it so freely again, I realized just how often I’d taken it for granted when we were younger. I never knew just how much I’d craved him until I didn’t have him.

Never again. I’d never find myself complacent or content with not having his touch again.

I caved to the pull between us, cupping his jaw to lure him in, savoring the taste of his lips on mine like a man close to death. Life was so fucking precious and so ridiculously short, yet there was an entire life sitting in wait with his kiss. I could taste it. I could see it. I could feel it.

There was a future between us. A long future with red fondant wedding cake and fights about who stole the blanket during the night and whether we should get another puppy so Fishy could have a friend.

There was a future waiting for us where we sat on the rocking chairs on my porch, watching the sun rise in the mornings with hot coffee and nothing else on our minds except each other. Except the fact that we got to live another day while loving each other.

We were lucky. Lucky to have souls like ours that refused to part, even after a decade of missing each other.

I trusted that wouldn’t happen again. I fully, completely trusted that Tobi was here to stay, and that relief? It was the best fucking thing I’d ever felt in my entire life. Knowing that, even if he strayed from his sobriety, he’d come back to me, and I’d wait. I’d wait until he was ready because I knew he would. I knew he’d come back without a doubt.

“Callum,” Tobi breathed, his hand curling in the back of my hair. “Cal, I need you.”

Hearing how breathless he was just from our kiss alone, I felt the same. I needed him. I always needed him, and I didn’t think that’d ever change. “Then take me, Tobes.”

He pulled away just enough to look me in the eye. “I don’t…” He shook his head. “I don’t know what I need. I don’t know what I want. I don’t know what I’m doing; I just know I need you close. As close as fucking possible.”

I heard the uncertainty in his voice and vowed to banish it. There was no need. “Don’t talk, baby doll. Just take. Take what you need because I need it, too. You don’t have to know what you’re doing. Just do it.”

The way his eyes slowly fluttered closed, I assumed that was exactly what he’d needed to hear. We didn’t need to stutter with indecision anymore. We’d already gone through that for far too long. We needed to just be.

He nudged me, making me lie on my back as he threw his legs over my hips. I breathed him in as he leaned down to kiss me, whimpering and reveling in the way his hands traced up from my stomach to my chest, traveling further up to my neck.

The first rock of his hips had me gasping and arching my back, meeting him just right. “Shit, that feels good.” I panted.

“Does it?”

I nodded. “Again. Please.”

He held one side of my neck as he kissed the other, rolling his hips again. Tiny shocks of something I’d never felt before made their way up my spine with each slight rake of his teeth against my skin and the press of his hard cock against mine. I found myself losing all sense of direction and time.

Once he’d ridden his hands up under my shirt and found my nipples, I was a mess. Every touch felt like an explosion going off in my body, and I couldn’t get enough of it. I just couldn’t.

I lifted just enough to help him get rid of my shirt, the cold air creating goosebumps on my arms and bare chest. Tobi looked down at me, subtly biting at his lip. “Fuck, you’re beautiful.”

I didn't think I’d ever felt that way before he’d said it.

His lips pressed against my chest, making a trail down, down, down to my stomach. It almost tickled, but it was so soft. He was being so soft—almost reverent. Like he was savoring each moment and every touch. My stomach muscles constricted as he situated himself between my legs and lathed at my hip bones. He treated every part of me like it was precious.

I was so fucking hard. So goddamn turned on, looking down and seeing his eyes flick up at me beneath his lashes. He tugged at the waistband of my pajama pants, asking me permission with his gaze.

Just a nod. A small, short, eager-as-hell nod.

Slowly, ever so fucking slowly, he pulled my pants down, my cock twitching the moment the cool, open air touched my skin. Tobi wrapped a hand around me, giving me a short, experimental tug.

My eyes rolled as I threw my head back, my hips bucking without my permission. No one had ever touched me like this. No one had ever gotten this close to me before. I didn’t know what to do. It felt so goddamn foreign, yet so fucking good, and I was already clutching the sheets beside me. Anyone else, and I would’ve been embarrassed.

“I…I want to taste you, Cal.”

Either my heart stopped for a second, or it picked up pace. “Please.” Holy shit, was that my voice? Did I seriously sound that fucking wrecked already?