Page 22 of Your Pace Or Mine

No, I was decidedly off on my own train of thought, and now I need a cold drink or maybe an ice bath.

“Uh, sure. Sounds good.”

He nods, pleased with himself. “We set up a meeting with the company we’ve outsourced content moderation to so we can clarify the rules. For a trial period, I’ll also have all flagged messages sent to me so I can double check that they’re getting it right.”

I’m impressed but also horrified at the thought of how much shit he’s going to have to sift through. “Get ready to lose all faith in humanity, Bash.”

He laughs cynically. “I’m already there, Ash.”

We iron out a few more details until we have a solid set of criteria, then discuss promoting the new user agreements to capitalize on showing how the app is responding to users’ needs. Being involved in the shop talk is invigorating, especially knowing that I’ll be helping other users.

“What else is new with you?” I ask when we’re done with our business. I’ve gotten us refills on our soda water, and we dig into some homemade guacamole now that we’re not working.

“Not much. I had a hot night out with a woman I met at the gym. She was very, er, neighborly,” he answers, looking pleased with himself.

So I guess it’s just me reliving the other night, and he’s definitely moved on. It’s as it should be. But why do I have the urge to punch this random gym woman in the face? “I hope for her sake you’ll still remember her name next time you see her in the elevator.”

“Haha,” he says dryly. “How about you, besides being invited to shack up with your date’s mom and dad?”

“Oh God, don’t remind me.” I close my eyes and let out a sigh. “Not too much. I think I’m going axe throwing on a date on Tuesday, so pray that both of us come out unharmed. Other than that, I hung out with Laurel.”

“How’s she doing?”

“Over the moon. Her boyfriend is moving into her apartment, so she’s in nesting mode.”

I’m so focused on keeping any hint of jealousy out of my voice that I almost miss seeing Sebastian shudder. “What? Is the idea so horrifying to you, Bash?”

He looks mollified, like he didn’t intend for me to see that reaction. “I just don’t know how people do it, commit to being with the same partner forever.”

“Laurel is thrilled about it,” I say with a shrug.

“The idea of only having sex with one person for the rest of your life, of having them in your space day in and day out?” he replies, wrinkling his nose. “No thanks.”

I shake my head at him. “And yet you run a dating app. You should put that in your Single In The Six promo material: We can help you move towards the nightmarish hellscape of a long-term relationship. Really sells it.”

He smiles wryly. “People can use the app however they want. Lots of people want to do the long-term thing, but we’re also there to help with shorter-term companionship.”

I smirk at him. “Shorter is one way to put it.” More like hourly in his case.

He looks at me, suddenly serious. “You want that? You want the whole meeting-his-parents, brushing-your-teeth-while-he’s-in-the-shower, never-sleeping-with-anyone-else song and dance?”

“I do,” I say, and the longing for that kind of love seeps over me. It’s true that I enjoy my single life, and I’m not ready to settle for just anyone for the sake of being coupled up. But I’ve always hoped to find the One, get married, buy a small house and have a couple of kids one day. To be with someone who sees the real unvarnished me and sticks around. I want what Stevie and Andy have, what Laurel and Cal are working toward. Realizing I’m the lone singleton in our trio makes my heart ache a little.

“But won’t it get boring?” His brows rise in disbelief, but there’s something else behind his eyes, like he’s actually terrified of the idea.

Having a revolving door of partners for another few decades sounds boring to me, but I’m not Sebastian.

“It doesn’t have to.” I don’t want to speak for someone else, but I can’t help adding, “Laurel says it keeps getting better and yes, even the sex part. There’s a lot to be said for trust and knowing your partner intimately.” She says a lot more than that, but she probably wouldn’t want Sebastian to know those private details.

“Well, to each their own,” he says. “I’m glad they’re happy, but it’s not for me.”

I knew this about him. I’ve always known it from the first time we shared a six pack in our university dorm. Other than his blip with a girlfriend many years ago, he’s been steady about avoiding commitment. Still, hearing it spelled out like this makes my chest ache. He may act detached, but he’s got a good heart, and I’m sure he could make someone happy if he really wanted to. But that’s not fair. We’re allowed to want different things in life. All the same, I’m a little sad thinking he’ll never experience what it’s like to be truly loved.

We finish our snacks, and he gets his coat to go home. When we hug at the door, for a moment I wish I could lean in and stay buried in his chest for a while, but I pull away and let him leave.

Miss Midtown Reel (with transcript)

Miss Midtown appears wearing a T-shirt with a heart on it.