Page 23 of Your Pace Or Mine

“Hi everyone! I’m a few dates into this role of your local dating diva, and I’ve got a lot of thoughts.

“First, it’s been fun! I’ve been more open to meeting new people, some of whom I might not have replied to if I’d been focused on my mental image of Mr. Right. You see, I’ve always had a type, a certain look that I lean towards, and more than that, an idea of which personalities and goals I need in a partner. Maybe this is an opportunity to explore the idea that I don’t always know what I need.

“On the other hand, I think some non-negotiables are a must. As someone looking to settle down and have a couple of kids someday, I’d rather not invest in a relationship with a man who has no desire for something long-term. I’m not into that ‘I’ll be the one to change him’ pipe dream. Been there, done that [shakes head vehemently].

“I want to hear from you, the dating community. Are you open to whatever the internet gods throw at you, or are you targeted, running down your checklists, and anyone who doesn’t meet the criteria need not apply? Have any of you found ‘the One’ when you threw caution to the wind and took a chance on a long shot, or is yours a cautionary tale? Tell me in the comments, or make your own reel and tag me! And best of luck to anyone trying to lock down a date for the illusory Valentine’s Day coming up!” [blows a kiss to the camera]

Comments:

Me! I met my guy when I let go of the idea of who I was supposed to be with. We were total opposites but it turns out we balance each other out. Take a risk!

Oh no, I know what I need and I’m not wasting time on a guy who doesn’t want the same things. That was the story of my 20s…

Ugh, Valentine’s Day. Don’t remind me. F that noise.

I feel like there’s a middle ground. Don’t compromise on your core values and goals, but also don’t turn a guy down because his eyes are the wrong shade of blue or he likes pineapple on pizza. Some of y’all’s standards are ridiculous.

NINE

SEBASTIAN

I’m sitting in a coffee shop that’s plastered with paper hearts, even though Valentine’s Day is already over. I try not to roll my eyes over the ridiculous promotion of romantic love as I wait for my date, who went to the restroom. It’s been an exhausting week, and I was tempted to cancel; between promotions and meetings with a team from Vancouver to develop an app for that market, I’ve barely gotten time to breathe. But Marisol and I have been messaging all week, and I couldn’t say no to a post-work coffee and potentially more.

“So, did you do anything special last night?” she asks, taking a seat.

I take a beat to remember that for most people, February 14 is about celebrating love and not optimizing marketing opportunities.

She’s still looking at me, so I shake myself back to life, focusing on my date. Marisol is gorgeous, with long black hair, piercing brown eyes, and a tanned complexion. It’s rude to space out during our time together. “Nope, just work and the gym. How about you?”

She chuckles. “I had a girls’ night with my sisters, so I’m a little worse for wear, hence the coffee shop. We did makeovers with my niece, so that was fun.”

Marisol takes out her phone to show a photo of her with makeup that could only be described as clown-like. Her mouth is covered with a garish blob of orange-red that stretches from her lips to halfway across her cheek.

“So I’m assuming your niece is applying to cosmetology school, right?” I joke. I like a person who doesn’t pretend to look perfect all the time.

“Yep, in about twelve years or so,” Marisol replies, smiling. “She’s six.”

I almost take my phone out to show her the only photo I took of my Valentine’s Day, a sunset from my balcony that I sent Ashley, but Seth has been spamming me all day with potential engagement rings for Diana. I don’t want Marisol to see something and get the wrong idea. God, weddings are a nightmare, and he’s not even engaged yet. Still, maybe we can capitalize on his wedding on our social media, even if he’s more of a behind-the-scenes guy. We could invite the other influencers—Ashley and Tansy, who joined the team this week.

Although, who knows if Ashley will still be working on the app by the time Seth ties the knot. This kind of promotional gimmick can’t last forever, plus knowing Ashley, she’ll meet her Prince Charming one of these days and exit the dating scene. I picture her going on couples’ vacations with Laurel, accompanied by some tall, muscled Ken-doll type, and I almost miss her already.

Stop thinking about work, Sebastian. I focus on Marisol, who is still talking about her niece.

“She sounds adorable.” I missed half of what she said, including the kid’s name, but I’m sure she’s cute. Despite being uninterested in the whole partnering up thing, I do like other people’s children, at least for short periods of time.

“She’s a handful,” Marisol replies, shaking her head. “I’m not up for that lifestyle any time soon.”

“Amen to that.” I raise my latte and catch her eye. She’s even prettier in person than in her photos, and I chide myself for letting my attention slide.

“So what do you do?”

“I work in tech.” While developing a dating app is a good opener in the wild, when I meet women on the platform, I’d rather not reveal myself as the founder. Either it sounds like I’m lying—because frankly, who would believe that?—or like I’m doing some secret shopper experiment. That’s why my Mr. Six account is incognito too. “I’m a programmer.”

She nods blandly. Very few people ask follow-up questions about programming. Ashley is one of the few people I know who thinks the back end is interesting, even if she doesn’t have the expertise to follow my ramblings about it.

“What do you do, Marisol?”

I touch her hand lightly, and she smiles slightly. “Art therapist.”