Page 155 of On the Breakaway

I rub a hand across the back of my neck.

“Finding out that you are this uncertain from Liam.”

Her expression immediately tightens. “I can talk to anyone I want.”

“I know. That’s not what I’m saying.”

“Then what are you saying?”

I lean forward, resting my forearms on my knees.

“I’m saying it was upsetting to find out that you’ve been this confused and conflicted, but never felt like you could bring it to me.”

“I didn’t want to mess this up.” She looks down at her hands. “I mean, you’re not looking for anything serious right now either, so what is there to be uncertain of?”

My stomach twists as I realize that I hadn’t brought my concerns to her either.

I decided I want more, but I never told her. And because neither one of us can apparently communicate for shit, I’m sitting here head over fucking heels for this girl, while she wonders when I’ll move on.

“I wasn’t looking for anything serious, but that doesn’t mean this hasn’t turned into that anyway.” As the words leave my mouth, a weight lifts off my shoulders.

“What are you saying?”

“That I don’t just want to test the waters. I don’t want to take it one date at a time. I want this. Us. Not some vague exclusive secret, but a real relationship.”

Her eyes widen slightly. “You don’t want that with me.”

I ignore the knot tightening behind my ribs at the thought that she might not want me like that at all.

“I want it with you, Avery.”

“But why?” She shifts uncomfortably in her seat.

All I can do is look at her, wondering how the hell she doesn’t see in herself what I see.

“Because you help random old men take selfies in the park. Because you have two best friends that you will so clearly do anything for, and when a new woman came to town, you folded her into your group without pause. Because you’ve somehow managed to become one of Liam’s best friends and the voice of reason he needs to hear a majority of the time.”

“Grayson.”

I cut her off. “I’m not done.” I pull her hand further onto my lap. “Because you have two parents who raised you to believe that love was toxic, and an asshole ex who practically confirmed it, but tonight, you came here anyway.”

“It’s not a big deal.”

“The fuck it’s not. A couple of months ago, today’s argument would’ve had you avoiding me for months. But you’re here. You showed up with actual food, while you braced yourself for whatever was waiting for you here. Because somewhere along the way, I started mattering to you. Enough for you to risk the fight and the fallout just to see me.”

My hands slide up her arms.

“And somewhere along the way, you started mattering to me. Enough for me to ignore every wall you’ve tried to use to block me out just to see you. And Avery, I see you. All of you, baby.”

She swallows. “I don’t know.”

Fuck.

The air leaves my lungs in a slow, defeated sigh.

She shifts, leaning toward me. “No. Not like that. It’s just…” she bites her lower lip. “This is just fast. I mean, a couple of months ago, I wanted nothing more than sex ever again. You’re talking about a real relationship. It’s just–” words fail her for a second. “I just never thought I’d want to do that again.”

“And now? Do you want any of this?” My voice is hoarse.