Page 122 of Smoke and Glitter

"There is one."

He nods once.

"I can see you moving toward me, Sam. Yesterday you crossed the room. Today you're sitting here telling me things I wanted from you for months."

My throat tightens enough that I have to stop for a second.

"But every time we get to the place where you would have to tell me what I actually meant to you, you still stop."

His jaw tightens.

"I want to say it."

"I believe you."

He looks away.

The woman with the highlighters has started packing up. One by one, she caps them and drops them into a pencil case. I watch her for a moment because it gives me somewhere to put my eyes.

When I look back, Sam has both forearms braced against the table.

"What do you need from me?"

It's probably the best question he could ask.

"Nothing right now."

His fingers tighten together.

"That isn't punishment. I'm going back Sunday. I have work waiting for me. Summer leaves for Charleston. I need to go back to the life I'm building there."

Sam nods slowly.

I slide my arms into my coat.

He stands when I do but stays behind his chair, giving me room to pull my hair free from the collar and settle the strap of my bag on my shoulder.

"Autumn."

I look at him.

His hands flatten against the back of the chair.

"I miss you."

The ache comes fast.

"I miss you too."

His fingers tighten against the wood.

For months I wanted him to admit even that much. Now the words are here and they don't solve anything.

Maybe they aren't supposed to.

"I'm glad you came," he says.

"So am I."