Page 134 of The Devil and His Ghost

I spotted a vendor selling candied hawthorn sticks. After handing over 15 yuan for the stick of vibrant red candied berries, I continued my wandering under the moonlight. Not that I could see the light of the moon and stars from how bright the hundreds of lantern displays were here in Kaifeng. They were made with varying shades of reds and golds, and they depicted dragons, carp, lotuses, and more. Lanterns hung from tree branches, and they arched above the many walkways. Crimson and gold lanterns floated within the waterways, and traditional music of drums, pipas, guzhengs, and erhus played from areas where performers were set up.

The place brimmed with warmth, life, and joy.

But I felt none of it.

I stopped on an arched stone bridge above the water and leaned my arms against the railing. Catsper perched on the bridge beside my arm, his one eye downcast. I clearly wasn’t the only one not feeling the jovial atmosphere. I stared at the shiny red berries on the stick and twirled it mindlessly.

“You would’ve liked trying these,” I told the vacant spot on my other side. “You would’ve loved all the food here. I’m sure of it. Not to mention the festival itself. I wanted to bring you. I wanted to show you how beautiful it is here, but …”

The misery hadn’t lessened. Everyone said they were worried about me, which was why the guys told me I should go to the Lantern Festival since they knew how much I loved it. But being here just reminded me of her, as everything did.

When I breathed in, I smelled her. When I closed my eyes, I saw her. When I slept, I dreamt she was still right there, tucked in my arms. Letting go of her was the best thing for her, which was why I’d accepted the suffering that came from being without her. All I’d ever wanted was for her to be happy, my feelings be damned. I was glad I could give that to her, even if it left me empty and broken beyond repair.

I took in a shuttering breath and watched the candied hawthorn stick slip from my fingers to the water below. The water splashed, and I stared at the ripples over my reflection and whispered painfully, “I miss you, Kendyll.”

The dark water continued to toss and bounce from the disturbance. When it finally settled, a face peered down into the water right next to mine. It wasn’t the first time I’d seen visions of Kendyll in my wrecked state. I stared hard at her rippling face in the water, wishing I could reach into those cold waves to touch her again.

I hung my head in the crook of my arm. “I miss you so fucking much.”

“Then why did you let me go?”

I froze.

“If you were going to be in this much pain, why did you release my soul?”

I knew I had to be imagining things. It certainly wasn’t the first time, and yet …

I slowly looked up. The air practically rushed out of my body. If I hadn’t already been leaning against the railing, I would’ve collapsed, because right beside me was Kendyll. A purple top hugged her torso and ripped black jeans adorned her legs. Her dark hair hung around her shoulders, free of blood or a caved in head wound. Glasses framed vibrant green eyes as she stared expectantly at me.

Catsper leapt past me and right into the woman’s arms, who happily caught the cat, rubbing her face against his as he chirped and purred.

I grabbed my head and shook it. “Did I fall asleep? Am I dreaming?”

She let go of the cat so that he could twirl through the air around her shoulders. With a shrug, she said, “Let’s see.” She reached out and flicked my forehead. The stinging tap against my skull made me jump lightly. She placed her hands on her hips. “Guess you’re not.”

My legs finally gave out, and I slumped to the bridge floor while staring up at Kendyll with wide eyes. “K-Kendyll?”

She squatted in front of me. “In the flesh. Well …” She pursed her lips and held a hand out next to us, which a couple walking by promptly passed through. Grinning, she waved her fingers at me. “In the spectral flesh, I should say.”

I reached out and gingerly pressed my hand to hers. When I met solid form, I took in a shaky breath and tested dragging my hand down her palm and along her forearm where her ghost tattoo was inked in. This was real. She was real.

I quickly grabbed her and pulled her into my tight embrace. I didn’t give a damn how crazy I looked to anyone passing by, hugging and talking to what would appear to them as nothing more than open air. She was here. I could fucking touch her.

“Kendyll,” I cried, burying my now tear-streaked face into her neck.

She hugged me back, and I felt her place a kiss on my temple. “Xander.”

“I don’t understand,” I faltered.

“I don’t, either,” she said as she pulled back to look at me. “Why did you release my soul?”

I shook my head feebly and tried to remember how to form words that made sense. “Because I-I love you. Keeping you trapped as my ghost was only hurting you.” My explanation probably made little sense as my mind worked overtime to figure out how she was here right now.

She sighed and rolled her eyes. “You’re such a stupid demon sometimes, Xander.”

“What—”

She cut my words off with a quick yank on my coat and covering of my mouth with hers. It was a quick kiss, but it conveyed so much within the press of lips. She pulled back but didn’t let go of my shirt as she fixed her vibrant, lively eyes on me.