Page 133 of The Devil and His Ghost

Kendyll was gone.

She might’ve gone to a peaceful place or faded all together in the ultimate form of rest or even decided to start anew as a reborn soul. Whatever she chose, I was glad. It would be her choice when so many had been taken from her in life. It would be what she wanted, and despite how painful it was, that was what I ultimately wanted, too.

Chapter 46

Xander

(Five Months Later)

I SAT ON THE STONE bench and stared at Terrance’s back as he hung his head over Kendyll’s grave. His tan coat shook around the shoulders, and I knew he was crying while he talked quietly to her tombstone. Catsper sat on top of the headstone, staring at where Terrance knelt. Eventually, the man stood and came to join me on the bench that faced Kendyll’s resting place. His eyes and nose were red and puffy, and he wiped at his face.

We didn’t say anything, which was normal. We’d visited Kendyll’s grave more times than I could count, both before her spirit awakened and since releasing it. Every time, Terrance sobbed and talked to his sister while I waited until he left to go closer myself. Catsper wouldn’t leave her grave when we came, curling up right against the stone or on top of it. Terrance and I would say a few things to each other, share in our mutual grief, but talking was hard. Even after so long, it was still so fucking hard.

So today, I tried for a different topic. Pulling my black coat tighter around my body, I tapped my heel lightly against the ground and asked, “How is baby Kenzie?”

“She’s great,” Terrance sniffled and smiled at me. “She’s a really good baby.”

Becca, Terrance’s wife, had given birth about two months ago. He’d shown me a dozen more photos than I cared to see, but I humored the man since he was Kendyll’s brother whom she loved so much. It was also only a little before baby Kenzie was born that Becca and Terrance finally married. Their intended wedding never happened as it was supposed to that day, but Terrance never blamed me for that. He didn’t hold a grudge against me for killing his parents, either.

I’d offered to alter his memories while masking the gruesome scene to look like Edwin Cartwright went crazy, killing his wife and Kendyll before doing the same to himself. But Terrance chose to remember it all in full unlike what the police and public saw. He’d said he’d believed their lies long enough and didn’t want to be on the wrong side anymore. He chose Kendyll and the truth instead. After hearing what his parents had done, he’d had their bodies cremated, and apparently, he’d buried their urns in his backyard so that his dogs could shit on them.

Excellent choice.

Silence fell between us again. We sat under the naked branches of a tree and stared at that tombstone that neither of us wanted to exist.

“H-Have you seen her ghost since …” Terrance questioned, and there was no missing the hope in his nervous stammer.

After Terrance saw me in my demonic form the day Kendyll died, there was no hiding the truth of what I was from him. It was shortly after we began talking that he realized Kendyll had always been telling the truth, not only in her claims against his father, but in her insistence that she could see ghosts. When I’d told him how I’d collected Kendyll’s soul, he was happy to know that a piece of her theoretically lived on, even if he couldn’t talk to her. He was excited at the prospect of talking to her through me.

Now, neither of us could, and that was most likely why he was extra emotional today.

She was truly gone.

Swallowing my own agony, I shook my head. “She’s really gone.”

He pressed his quivering lips together and dropped his head against his chest while silent tears rolled down his face. A cloud of white blew past his lips as he revealed quietly, “I wish I could’ve told her I was sorry. I wish I could’ve told her I’m sorry for not believing her when it mattered.” He looked up at her grave and finished, “I wish I never pressured her into coming to the wedding. She wouldn’t be dead if I had just let it go.”

I didn’t say anything. I couldn’t. I’d had the same thoughts, and I just didn’t have it in me to dismiss him blaming himself. In the year after Kendyll died, I’d managed to pretend to be my upbeat and unserious self, because that version got energy I could harness and store for what I knew was coming—her return.

But now she was really gone. She wasn’t returning this time. There was no need to pretend anymore. There was no need to joke or annoy or mess with people. She’d died, and she took my life with her. All that was left behind was this broken shell of who I used to be.

“You know,” Terrance continued, obviously in a chatty mood today. “Kendyll was always so tired and out of it back when we were kids. Every morning, she would come down to breakfast, and even though she’d just woken up, she seemed exhausted.”

I clenched my fists, and a rage boiled my veins. Just as I was about to lash out, Terrance continued.

“But one morning, she came downstairs with dark circles still under her eyes but excited. She told me she’d met a beautiful monster who promised to come back for her. I thought she was being silly, but she never stopped talking about that. She never stopped waiting for the monster she met. That … was you, wasn’t it?”

I closed my eyes and had to press my lips together to keep the broken sob from slipping out. I wanted to claw my own heart out to make it stop twisting all the time, but I suffered through the pain because that was where Kendyll lived. Long gone yet her love still wrapped tightly around me.

“I’m going to China next week, so you’ll have to visit here alone if you decide to come,” I announced without acknowledging what Terrance had said.

“China?” he asked with a surprised raise of his brow.

I didn’t explain myself or answer him. With a final look at Kendyll’s gravestone, I merged with shadows and left.

FAMILIES LAUGHED EXCITEDLY AS THEY walked the vibrantly decorated and lit up avenues. Couples merrily kissed as they shared tang yuan or played one of the many games set up. Kids ran around in open areas with sparkling firecrackers, and all rejoiced while happily taking in all the stunning, glowing displays at the Lantern Festival.

Some wore traditional Chinese hanfu while others wore modern clothes. Being back in China for the festival, I’d nearly donned traditional clothes, too, but my heart wasn’t in it like years prior. So black pants and coat it was, very taboo at such an auspicious time and event.