Page 2 of Sex On A Plate

DAMN, HE’S UGLY

It seems nothing can bring a family together faster than a good meal.

Sunday dinners. Barbeques. Holiday gatherings. Birthdays. Superbowl Parties.

We may not gather as a group for the entire event, but we’ll damned sure congregate for the distribution of the food, won’t we?

Why?

Because food provides comfort. We find solace in a flavorful Ribeye steak or a warm chocolate chip cookie fresh out of the oven.

“I’m smoking a brisket and a pork shoulder, wanna come?”

All of a sudden, our brother and his wife are at the door with some store-bought potato salad.

When food tickles our taste buds, we tell everyone within earshot. “Have you eaten at that new Italian joint over on Washington? Holy shit, you’ve got to try that place. Seriously, it’s to die for. You and Shari should join us next weekend. My treat.”

If it tastes like a dry dog turd, we’ll leave a scalding Yelp review or call someone we haven’t talked to in years just to make sure the world knows how we feel about it.

“Dear God. Have you seen the advertisements for that new steak place? Jessica and I ate there last night before the new Liam Neeson Thriller. The filet was like rubber, the potato tasted like dirt, and the salad was wilted. Don’t even bother. It was fucking awful.”

Why are we so keen to discuss our beliefs when it comes to food?

Because food, like sex, evokes emotion.

Although there are several things that I am personally capable of, there are only two that I believe are worth mentioning.

Cooking and telling stories.

I’ve shared my life’s experiences through the 49 full-length novels I’ve published. This is as close as I can get to offering you a meal.

I’ve chosen 49 of my go-to recipes. They’re all simple to prepare. Not one will require a trip to some overpriced specialty shop at the other side of town.

Convinced a good book and a good meal are a recipe for success, I’m hoping to share both with you at the same time. That offering is between the two covers of this book.

Be forewarned, I cuss a little when I cook.

Oh, and I tend to tell stories as they relate to my memories of the food I’m preparing.

Thumb through these pages and find out what it is that I enjoy eating while you learn a little about what got me to where I am.

If you’re a previous fan of my writing, you know that I’m the hideously ugly man with the gorgeous wife.

What we’ve learned so far tells us that one of three things must be true.

I’ll confide in you a little.

In our household, I do most of the cooking.

Let’s get started, shall we?