Page 76 of The Gods Order

“Suma.”

Val’s one-word warning is both quieter and louder this time. The switch from the name I’ve always known to his real name gets everyone’s attention. Meridamus finally relents his tense stance enough to drag a hand through his hair.

“Thayla girl, hate us, don’t trust us, refuse to hear anything we want to say for the next thousand years if you want to. What you can’t do, though, is deny in your mind who we are. It isn’t just this power that will rebel against you. Mine will too. If you don’t want to suffer day after day of pointless training, accept, acknowledge, and understand the truth.”

My chest rises and falls as I stare at Meridamus. Every desire I have screams at me to tell him to mind his own damn business. Let me process this in my own way and in my own time.

Unfortunately, though, I can’t. Apparently.

I put my father in two separate little boxes in my mind because acknowledging he’s one and the same forces me to walk into a territory I have absolutely no desire to enter yet. I cannot focus on what we need to get done and our past at the same time.

It’s two extremes on two different spectrums and, currently, the fate of the realm is more important than me solving my fucking daddy issues.

This is easier to tolerate if, in my mind, I identify him as the God of Boundaries. Then this simply becomes just training.

If he’s only my father, then that’s a different disaster entirely. He’s someone I don’t even know.

If he’s both, then he becomes the god who abandoned the realm.

The father who abandoned me.

The man with too many secrets to even remotely begin to understand at the moment.

I squeeze my eyes shut as the anger I’ve been working really hard to tame rises fast and hot beneath my skin. It’s not even completely directed at the two of them. It’s this whole situation plus the fact that my power has chosen right this fucking second to form an obvious opinion.

I think that pisses me off the most.

I’ve worked tirelessly to accept, acknowledge, and grow with my powers. A couple hours in his presence and my power of Boundaries decides to stage a mutiny.

My gaze cuts toward him before I can stop myself. He’s glaring at Meridamus like he’s done fucked everything up. A smidge of appreciation spreads through my chest. He did call him down a couple of times and warn him to stop.

My fucking power vibrates against my back, as if it’s attempting to push me toward him.

Fine.

The word is nothing more than a growl inside my mind.

You annoying-ass power. You want him to be your source?

Fine.

You want me to acknowledge he’s the God of Boundaries too?

Fine.

You want me to acknowledge he’s my father also?

Fucking fine. I acknowledge and accept he’s all three.

I release a sharp breath and stop fighting myself and my power. It slices across the space like it can’t wait to be free. The surge is so abrupt that Val’s and Meridamus’s eyes widen.

The familiar tingling that’s been fighting me all morning smooths out, and the resistance vanishes. The strange disconnect between my intention and instinct settles into alignment so quickly it nearly throws me off balance.

Around us, the meadow continues moving. The grass dances, branches bend, and critters scurry through the undergrowth.

Yet, the movements make no noise. Only the sound of breathing remains. Mine, Kyzen’s, Yemi’s, and the Beginning Gods’.

For several seconds, nobody speaks or moves.