Page 286 of Breathe Like Hell

“You never have to be perfect for me.” Her voice was softer, her eyes sincere. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” I pressed my lips together in a little smile. “Also, I blocked my brother’s number.” A tear did slip down my cheek then, and I swiped it away while I laughed. I’d mentioned this to Micah, but it somehow felt more real when I said it to my best friend. “That’s really fucking stupid, but it’s true. I guess I’m really starting no-contact, or whatever. He doesn’t give a fuck about me.”

“That’s really good, zayka!!” Mila exclaimed, crawling over to me and wrapping her arms around me as best as she could, our legs tangling together. “It’s not stupid at all. Cutting people off is hard. Especially family.”

“I don’t know. It feels silly, I guess. I don’t know why I even entertained any conversation with him the past four years. In some part of my brain, I felt like maybe he loved me in some way. I mean, we’re siblings. Siblings usually drift apart during adulthood, but they still talk. I wanted to be normal.”

Mila just shook her head. “You do whatever you need to feel happy. He deserves to rot in hell.”

“My parents are already annoyed I didn’t go to his wedding. Like, it’s just over for me. There wasn’t even a big moment where we fought or something. But I had to be done.” Mila rolled off me onto the mattress, re-linking our pinkie fingers. “I saw him at Thanksgiving last year, and he was really different. Didn’t seem to hate our dad at all. I don’t know what his deal is. It just sucks.”

“It does suck. I wish there was something better than that I could say.” Mila’s lip jutted out in a frown. “But you know I’m proud of you for taking that step of blocking him. A lot of people don’t do that. They try to keep the peace. But family really doesn’t mean shit, if they treat you like that. Peace isn’t worth your mental health.”

“Yeah,” I agreed. “It’s only peaceful for other people. Not me.” I laughed slightly.

“Exactly.” A soft smile curved up the corners of her mouth. “I really do love you. And I’m very proud. I know it wasn’t easy to do that.”

“Thank you.” My voice was quiet. “I really love you, too.”

Mila squeezed her pinkie finger tighter with mine.

I did love her. I loved her so much.

And she loved me. Dakota-me. Not someone’s obsession or someone’s salvation or an angel fallen from the real version of Heaven. Just me. From high school until now. That comforted me a lot.

If anyone could truly understand how difficult it’d been for me to completely cut my brother off, it was her. Because even if she wasn’t fully aware of what was happening, she knew me back then. She knew me in all the painful years after. She had seen me fight this battle for a long time.

To other people, blocking Anthony would not seem like a victory.

But it was to me. And to Mila. She understood.

My aspiring pediatric oncologist, scary movie loving, very Russian, always supportive, completely perfect-for-me best friend.

“Are we watching a movie tonight?” I asked. “I brought food.”

“You know, I did see that!” Mila squealed, getting up on her knees and digging through the plastic shopping bag I’d brought with me that contained our snacks. “Oh, thank God, you did not bring peach rings.”

“To be honest, I could really go for some peach rings, but I know you went through a whole ordeal with that.”

“Way too many pounds of peach rings. I’m sick thinking about it.”

I giggled. “Yes, well, that’s why I got the gummy worms.”

“You’re the best. For real. And I want to watch something really scary. Like so bad I won’t be able to sleep. And I’ll throw up from anticipation of the jump scares.”

“Okay,” I said through my laughter. Mila was laughing, too. “We can find something like that, I’m sure.”

“And you’re sleeping over. Right? I need to confirm your Pinterest boyfriend isn’t going to steal you from me again.”

“I’m sleeping over,” I confirmed. “He’s not gonna do that shit anymore. Promise. I am laying down the law with him.”

“Good! Okay, let’s go.”

She pulled me off the bed and we went into the living room together, both of us smiling, happiness filling up my chest, glowing in my entire soul.

CHAPTER SEVENTY-ONE

MASON