Page 23 of Home Is Where You Are

As I climbed off the four-wheeler, I spotted Gentry walking out of the barn.

He walked toward me with a grin on his face.

“Did you get the stables all cleaned?” he asked when he stood in front of me.

“Yeah. I’m just waiting for my dad to respond with where I’m needed next,” I let him know, forgetting that he had a radio of his own and had probably heard me.

Looking down so I didn’t have to look him in the eye, I saw the ink peeking out of the top of his flannel shirt.

“You have a tattoo?” I asked before I could stop myself and realize that I didn’t have the right to know the answer.

“Yeah, I do,” he responded, his voice breaking at his admission.

Why did he sound hurt over admitting he had a tattoo?

“That’s cool. Do you happen to know where I’m needed now? I’m shocked my dad hasn’t responded yet,” I said, hoping he knew so I could carry on about my day.

Just then the wind blew hard and caused one of the buttons to come undone on Gentry’s flannel. As the wind whipped around us, I saw the tattoo that had remained hidden until now. There her name sat on his pec.

Bella.

Tears immediately filled my eyes at the heartwarming gesture that he made to have a piece of our beautiful baby girl permanently placed on his body. My hand moved of its own volition. I placed my fingers right above where the ink sat. Only then did I look into his eyes to gain his permission.

He nodded, opening his shirt so I could see the cursive writing fully, and I placed my shaking fingers upon his skin. Ever so slowly I traced the nickname that we’d given her. Over and over my fingers moved across the black lines as the tears flowed down my cheeks.

“I’d never forget her, beautiful. Not ever,” he whispered as he pulled me into him to comfort me yet again.

I wrapped my arms behind his back and held onto him for dear life.

I knew we needed to talk. Probably before tomorrow when my friends arrived. But I wasn’t ready. Soon. We’d have the conversation we should’ve had four years ago.

“Whenever you need me, I’m here. I hope you’ll remember that,” he promised. I nodded into his shoulder as I begged the tears to subside.

I missed her. So much so that it consumed me while I was here. I was a coward. I ran because I couldn’t deal. And my poor, sweet Gentry had to pay the price. He had to suffer and heal all alone, while I ran and tried to forget my pain.

nine

GENTRY

Feeling her unfold in my arms at the sight of my tattoo tore at my insides. I hated seeing her tears. Especially since they were caused by the nickname of our daughter. It also tore me up inside because she thought I’d dealt with my grief. Only I hadn’t. I focused more on the emotions I felt instead of the loss. Over time, I dealt with it the only way I knew how. Work. I came in every day on a mission. To get so exhausted I couldn’t think. Sawyer and her brothers knew better than to stop me. They'd let me stay long after they’d left. I thought it was also because none of them knew what to say. I’d lost someone near and dear to us along with losing the young woman I loved.

When she pulled away from me and turned toward the house, I let her go.

I watched her walk to her family home with her head hung in defeat.

Her emotions were on even more of a high alert, and she needed this time for herself.

Pulling out my phone, I sent a group text.

Me: I think Ainsleigh is done for the day.

Sawyer: Why? What happened?

Brooks: Slacker

Leo: I knew she wouldn’t be able to hack it, LOL

Holden: Did you do something to make her mad on her first day?