Page 24 of Home Is Where You Are

I knew Holden would be the one to think that. He was my best friend, but he knew me so well. He knew I wouldn’t be able to rein in my feelings for her. For once, he was wrong.

Me: She saw my tattoo.

Holden: Is she okay?

Brooks: Is she okay?

Leo: Already makin’ my sister cry?

Leo always had to make light of any situation. It was who he was. He could never handle any type of tough situation. It was his defense mechanism after he’d gotten his heart broken.

Sawyer: How’d she handle that?

Me: She’s as okay as she can be. I told her to take the rest of the day. I hope I didn’t overstep, but she looked like she needed it.

I shouldn’t have lied, but I didn’t want them to heckle her for slacking on her first day back, even if the reason, in my opinion, was justified.

They all replied that they understood, and I was thankful she had such a close-knit family who understood her needs.

After I buttoned my shirt, I went out and finished my tasks. Her brothers were out on guided hikes with some of the vacationers. Courtright Ranch was a popular destination for families in the summer, but hunters in the fall and winter. During hunting season, more men would arrive to hunt the big game here. During these months, we saw more families than anything else. Teaching a child to ride a horse brought all of us joy. We wanted the younger generation to gain a love for riding the way we’d all grown up.

Seeing this family succeed in that made me feel whole. They were all amazing people.

Especially for letting me in.

An outsider.

Even after she’d left, they still made me feel welcome.

Right before the sun set, I put up the horse I’d used to check the fencing across the grounds, making sure to brush him before I left him for the day.

Entering the Courtright home, I noticed Lillian was cleaning up the dishes from dinner, with Ainsleigh nowhere in sight.

“I put your plate in the microwave. I can heat it up for you in a second,” she said with a worried expression on her face.

“You don’t need to do that. I’ll do it in a minute. What’s the matter?”

I knew it had something to do with the woman who still held my heart in her hands.

She let out a breath as she placed the plates on the counter by the sink.

“I’m worried about her. She puts on this brave front, but I know it’s a façade. I almost wish I hadn’t insisted she come home after graduation. I was selfish in wanting my baby girl home. Being here is taking a horrible toll on her.”

“She couldn’t run forever.”

“Go easy on her, Gentry. She’s more fragile than I feared. I should’ve known she hadn’t taken my advice and sought help while she was away. She refused for us to even mention Bella—or you, for that matter—while she was away. I just thought it was because she needed time. It’s apparent to me now that she needed far more than that.”

“I won’t hurt her, Lillian. I won’t be the cause of her runnin’ from her home ever again,” I confessed. Her mother had always been so easy to talk to. My secrets and fears always fell off my tongue before I even realized I’d let them out when I was around her.

“I trust your judgment. Don’t make me regret sayin’ that. And please don’t break her any more than she already is. I don’t know if she’ll come back from it,” she pleaded with tear-filled eyes.

“I promise I won’t do anything to hurt her. I’ll give her grace and understanding. I love her even though I wished I didn’t.”

“I know you do, son. That’s why you’re still here. I know your love runs deep for my precious baby girl. I don’t always understand it. The only way I coped with y’all fallin’ so hard for each other was remembering the way I’d felt about her father at such a young age. Love like the two of you have is rare, and I hope for both of your sakes you can find a way back to each other.”

“That’s not going to happen, Lillian. I love her, but I can’t be with her ever again. I hope you can understand that.”

Her mother tended to meddle in all our lives, but I needed to make my stance clear. She could think that we were meant for each other, but we weren’t those same people anymore.