Page 27 of Home Is Where You Are

“Oh, they were. They couldn’t have been happier if they tried. They said things. Horrible words that I couldn’t forgive them for. But that’s a confession for another time.”

Gentry’s family had arrived in Haven Valley right before his freshman year of high school. My brother Holden had instantly befriended him on the football field during tryouts. I’d learned through conversations I’d overheard between him and Holden that his parents never stayed in one place for very long. Hence Gentry’s hesitation to befriend my brother. But Holden being Holden, he didn’t take no for an answer. Slowly, Gentry came around to accepting Holden’s friendship, and quickly became a fixture around our home. Where Holden was, Gentry wasn’t far behind, and as a teenage girl, I couldn’t take my eyes off him. As we grew older, we fell in love with each other almost as soon as our interest in the opposite sex started. My brother didn’t take it very well at first, but he’d come around. We’d been inseparable ever since. Until the day I’d up and left.

“I’m sorry they treated you that way. What did they say that was so horrible?” I was almost too afraid to ask.

“You’re not ready to hear that just yet. One day, when you are, I’ll confess every dirty word. Until then, just know, I stood my ground with them. I cut them out of my life. For good.”

That was just sad. He literally had no one now. My heart hurt for him. I couldn’t imagine never speaking to my parents again.

One lone tear drop fell down my cheek. His thumb caught the wetness and wiped it away just before it could fall off my chin.

“Don’t cry for me, darlin’. I’m okay. It was for the best anyway. Someday soon you’ll understand that.”

His eyes told me that he was speaking the truth. There was a hint of sadness in them, but also happiness. That was all I’d wanted for both of us. To be happy. I wished mine could express the same emotion. Only, I wasn’t quite there just yet. Maybe someday I would be. Only time could tell.

“What’ve you been up to today? Aside from landing in horse manure?” he asked, trying to lighten the heavy mood that surrounded us.

“I’ve been texting Dylan and Aspen. I wanted to make sure they were having a safe drive.”

He didn’t need to know that I’d video chatted with them to come up with a plan. Operation Divert Gentry would be in full effect come tomorrow. I didn’t even know what that meant. All I had to say was I needed a way to get Gentry to give me some space, and they said they’d take care of it. I was scared to even ask. But that was Dylan and Aspen. They were both quick and good at thinking on their feet. I was sure their plan would cause chaos, but I missed them. It’d only been a day, but we’d been inseparable since our freshman year. I’d grown used to being around them all the time. We’d all even gotten a place together at the start of our sophomore year. It would suck when they had to leave and go their separate ways. Especially since my plans were still up in the air, but when I saw my future, these Texas hills were left in my rearview.

We sat there in peace and quiet, my head resting on the tree next to his, while we watched the sun setting off in the distance.

After it fell behind the trees, he finally spoke.

“You ready to head in, butterfly? It can be dangerous out here after dark,” he asked without moving from behind me.

He was right. We should go in. But I didn’t want to ruin the bubble we’d created out here.

Reluctantly, I stood. His hands went to my waist to make sure I didn’t fall as he stood beside me. His strong fingers gripped me from behind, and my body tensed at the same time I shivered. Why did this man still have this effect on me? Especially when I needed to steer clear of him. He didn’t remove his hand from my waist as we walked toward the house.

I didn’t have the heart to ask him to remove it after he made that confession at the tree.

We stopped in front of the stable that he called home when we returned.

“We should talk about everything,” he suggested, and I instantly tensed.

“I’m not ready,” I admitted.

“Ainsleigh, we need…”

“Just give me time,” I begged as I started edging toward the house.

“It’s been four years.”

“And I said I’m not ready,” I snapped.

“When will you be ready?” he asked with a bite to his tone.

I understood why we needed to clear the air and why he insisted on pushing me, but I just couldn’t.

My mouth opened and closed as I tried coming up with an answer, some reason why we needed to put off having this conversation just a little longer, only for words to fail me as emotion choked me.

Without responding, I turned and stomped away.

I hurried my pace and raced inside up to the bedroom that haunted my nightmares. I grabbed my clothes and went into my bathroom and took a hot shower. As the water ran over me, I didn’t withhold my sobs and let the tears fall. I knew I hurt him the way I ran away. I couldn’t manage to not continue hurting the only man I’d ever truly loved, but I couldn’t give him what he wanted. Not now. Maybe not ever.

I didn’t stop crying after I got out of the shower and dressed in a spaghetti strap shirt and a pair of sleep shorts. On shaky legs, I walked into my bedroom and quietly shut the door. I didn’t want my parents to hear me breaking down and coming into my room, so I connected my phone to the speaker on my nightstand and pressed play on my music app.