Page 89 of Line Change

The party keeps going. Tessa laughs. Ben answers when people talk to him and finishes the piece of cake I hand him, but the ease is gone. Every time somebody new comes to the table, I feel him prepare for another introduction.

He stays anyway.

By the time we leave, rain has started tapping against the front windows. Ben follows me out without asking whether we’re still going to the same place.

The car is cold enough that the windshield fogs when we get in. I turn the defroster on high and pull away from the curb. Ben sits with one hand wrapped around the strap over his chest, looking through the passenger window while the wipers clear the glass.

The bar is out of sight before he says, “About what Micah said⁠—”

“Don’t.”

Ben turns toward me.

“You don’t have to apologize,” I say. “Micah shouldn’t have done that.”

He faces forward again and doesn’t try to finish.

At the next light, I stop behind a bus and watch rain move down the red glass of its taillights. Ben hasn’t said where he wants me to take him. His condo is the other direction, but I’m already in the lane that goes toward mine.

“Do you still want to come over?”

“Do you still want me to?”

The light changes. The car behind me waits half a second before the driver leans on the horn.

I start moving.

I want Ben in my bed tonight and in my kitchen tomorrow morning, opening cabinets he knows are empty. Before Micah spoke, that was where the night was going.

The answer is yes. Saying it feels too close to asking him for something else, so I keep driving.

Ben looks at me. “Yeah. I still want to come over.”

I take the next turn toward my condo.

26

BEN

Nolan gets his condo door shut, and I can’t wait any longer.

I catch him by the hips and kiss him before he can put down his keys. He makes a surprised sound into my mouth, then drops them and grabs the front of my jacket with both hands.

I’ve wanted to do this since Micah said the word.

Boyfriend.

It has been stuck in my head through the rest of the party and the drive home. Micah said it like a joke. Nolan went still beside me, and I corrected him because I couldn’t let the word sit there in front of people I didn’t know.

Now I’m angry that I had to correct it. Why can’t I just be Nolan’s boyfriend?

What we have is good. I want him almost every night, and when I don’t see him, I spend the night thinking about the next time I will. He brought me into Marlowe’s and put me beside his friends. I liked being there until Micah made me name it.

Nolan pulls my jacket open. I shrug out of it without letting go of his mouth, and it drops beside his keys. His lips are soft from the beer we had at the party. I suck the lower one between mine and feel his grip tighten at my waist.

I need his hands on me.

My fingers find skin under his shirt. Nolan shivers when I drag my palms up his back, then leans into me and kisses harder. His tongue pushes against mine. The kiss turns wet and slow while we move deeper into the condo with no plan past staying close.