Page 27 of Teddy Tea Time

Fuck me. Okay, this is…

Breathing through my anger and sadness is more difficult than I thought it would be after all of this time. While I understand the reason behind it, I hate that they are still doing this bullshit.

“Fresh meat, boys!”

“Once they figure out they don’t want to have a burden like you, they send you back over and over until no one will even try anymore.”

“The only way to stay away is to never be a bad kid. Bad kids get sent back.”

Brad’s face when I look up from the page isn’t showing the worry I would have expected. He cares. The fact that he is here at all shows how much he cares about Gerry. He just doesn’t understand.

“How many nights was he in the group home?” I ask when the papers in front of me don’t give the full picture. I know that by the end of the first week, he was moved to Mrs. Steven’s house because that is where I met him. I was stupid to think he was there from the start.

He takes the file from me and shuffles through the pages only to set it aside and pull out his phone. “He spent three days, two nights at the group home – not including the night he was brought in because it was after two in the morning when he was processed in.”

Processed. That sounds about right. Kids in group homes are treated like criminals first and children second. Rigid schedules, rations, and a warden complete the experience. It doesn’t help that a lot of the long term residents of those homes are the kids who have behavioral issues and have nowhere to go because the juvenile detention centers are full. Group homes are supposed to be temporary, but the state’s definition of temporary can be extremely flexible if the kid is deemed undesirable by society.

Knowing Gerry was briefly exposed to the very system I hoped to save him from, I can understand his fear. I have my own memories of the older boys tormenting the new arrivals, getting their kicks out of the hope diminishing in their victims’ eyes. Looking back, it’s impossible not to see how his behavior with me was too happy, too bright.

Since there is nothing I can do about it right now while Gerry is out school shopping with Ash, I snag a slice of the Hawaiian pie that Brad brought in and change the subject to the Halloween celebration being planned at Mac’s this year. I think he needs a break before his job breaks him.

24

ASH

Despite being a bit less smiley than before, Gerry has been calmer and more relaxed since his conversation with Jace the other day. He is still my little goofball at times, though.

“Does this make my butt look big?”

I glance over towards the fitting room to see the little shit sticking his bottom out towards me before shaking it back and forth. He giggles at my exaggerated eye roll and runs back into the changing room to finish trying on the clothes we picked out.

Eight is old enough that I can mostly trust him to know when things don’t fit right, but I’m not crazy enough to let him completely choose everything himself. Also, growth spurts are absolutely a thing, so I made sure to take that into account with our choices. We will come back for anything heavier than a hoodie around Halloween and again in the new year if necessary. Until he stops growing, seasonal shopping will absolutely be a thing in our house…their house.

It’s not permanent. The landlord had the front door replaced yesterday and the new hot water tank will be installed in two days. I will move back once that is done.

Once all of the important selections are made – Pokémon is a thousand times cooler than Super Mario for shoes apparently – we load up my car to head home.

Only, the damn thing won’t start.

You have got to be fucking kidding me! I cannot afford to have my car fucking break right now. I am supposed to be starting at WB Construction next week. A car is a bit of a fucking necessity to get to work every day.

“What’s wrong with your car, Ash?”

I look to the backseat. Gerry is playing with the Transformers toy I decided to surprise him with as a treat. Thankfully, he isn’t looking, so he won’t see the tears forming from my frustration. I just spent the last three hours fitting this kid out to be the coolest fucking third grader in Wrenshaw. How am I supposed to tell him that I can’t afford to call a tow truck without returning some of his new clothes?

“Why not call Jax? He fixed your window last time. Maybe he can fix the key this time?”

Calling Jackson wouldn’t be a bad idea if it wasn’t for the fact that I still don’t have the money to pay for the damn tow. Steve’s dad might be a sweetheart, but he doesn’t exactly offer any discounts outside of family members. Maybe Jace gets a family discount?

“I’m gonna text your brother. Why don’t we get some nuggets and sit in the air conditioning for a bit while I figure this out?”

Me:

Do u get a discount from GBT&T?

After ordering a kid’s meal for Gerry and using my rewards app to get a free order of nuggets for myself, I let him go play in the kids’ area while I wait for the food and a response from Jace.

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