Page 46 of Not Mine To Love

“Richard! You made it!” Then she turned back and growled at me, “Get that purse,” before stomping away in the direction of her beloved Richard, whoever he was.

I turned to go back to my car, grateful that now I could just ditch the scene and never have to worry about Claire or Julius again.

And as my luck would have it, that was exactly who I ran into. Except he was with Ana. She was laughing at something he said, and they smiled at each other before noticing me.

Ana gave me a big smile and waved me over. She looked so happy. I was such an asshole.

“Hey, you made it. My mom was having a meltdown. I’m not sure why. There’s nothing to take pictures of here except a bunch of old people eating food. Glad you’re here anyway. Aren’t we, Julius?”

Up until that point, I kept my eyes off his face. When I finally raised my eyes to meet his, I couldn’t tell what he was thinking. I knew my face was the definition of guilt though.

He didn’t answer her question and instead said, “I’m sure your mother is ecstatic that Becca finally made it.”

“Oh oh, take her to that little set up in the back. That’s a photographic moment just waiting to happen.”

She walked away leaving us to awkwardly stare at each other in silence. I didn’t know what to say and apparently, he didn’t either. As far as I was concerned, he was a terrible person for cheating on Ana, and I was equally terrible for letting it happen. We were scum. I apparently attracted that kind. First Tom and now Julius. I was starting to think maybe I was the reason guys behaved so terribly. Maybe something about me just said that I was open to being the other woman. But I wasn’t. I wasn’t going to be the other woman.

I scanned my surroundings and saw that no one was around, and I opened my mouth to tell him exactly that. Incidentally, we both started talking at the same time.

“I’m sorry—" we both said and then paused awkwardly. It was hard to meet his eyes. I couldn’t do it. So I stared at the ground and dug a hole with the tip of my shoe to distract myself from feeling something I wasn’t allowed to feel.

“I think we’re sorry for different things.”

I looked up then. That comment was unexpected. So what exactly was he apologizing for?

“I take it your mother-in-law and Ana don’t know what happened the other night.”

“Yep, and I’d like to keep it that way—"

“Is that why you haven’t exposed that I’m not just a photographer?”

“Pretty much.”

“So by saving my hide, you save your own.” God, I sure knew how to pick them.

“Kind of.”

We stared at each other in silence and then he finally said, “I guess you need to go get your camera.

“Yeah…”

“Okay. Meet you out back in ten minutes.”

He walked away toward the area Ana disappeared to, and I sighed. My cover wouldn’t be blown, but wasn’t it wrong to just play along? Now I was deceiving everyone around me, except Julius. He knew the real me. He knew way too much.

I didn’t do vulnerability well.

I was torn between being disgusted over what I had done to blaming Julius for it all. He didn’t seem to feel guilty at all. Had I stumbled into another situation where I was dating a man without a conscience? It certainly seemed that way, and I wasn’t even dating the guy. He was about to get married. I felt like I was the worst. And I felt terrible for Ana.

I knew I didn’t have the courage to tell her what happened. I was a coward, and I didn’t know how she would respond. What if she tried to clobber me with a champagne bottle or something? What if, even worse, she just started sobbing? No, I couldn’t do that to her. I didn’t want her to know what type of person I truly was. I had sunk to a new low, an unforgivable low.

Feeling dejected and sad, my shoulders slumped. I just had to make sure nothing like what happened the other night happened again. Determined, I walked to my car to retrieve my purse.

I ended up taking pictures with my phone and reassuring Claire that I would just use Photoshop to make sure the pictures came out looking great. It was almost as if she forgot that I wasn’t really there to photograph everything.

I wasn't sure why she cared; it wasn’t like she would show them to anybody. After all, she didn’t want them to get married.

I didn’t know how I felt about that. I knew it wasn’t my call to make. Did Claire have a valid reason for not wanting Julius with her daughter? After all, I had first-hand knowledge that he wasn’t completely faithful. Maybe Julius was a womanizer. What would’ve happened if I hadn’t stopped him that day at his home?