Page 100 of True Abandon

I grab his hand, holding it with as much conviction as I can display in a simple handhold.

“Someone will love you, Kevin. I promise. Someone amazing will come along and give you every bit of devotion you deserve.” He makes eye contact at the moment I add, “That someone isn’t me.”

He nods. His mouth down turned yet poised in understanding. “I know. I just hope she’s half as pretty as you.”

I ignore his compliment. “So where are you staying?”

He lets out a laugh. “Here.”

“Well, I happen to know a girl who can make things happen around here. How about I hook you up with a massage tomorrow? There’s a beautiful masseuse named Shannon who has fingers like an angel.”

He shakes his head as if in complete disbelief of the conversation taking place between the two of us. He finally laughs and it sooths my soul. “You know Hawaii agrees with you. You look, happy.”

I smile. “I am.”

“And calmer,” he adds.

“I am. Look no shakes.” I hold my hands up in the air showing smooth, steady and controlled. Kevin may not have known the reason for my anxiety, but he was aware it existed.

“Huh. Maybe I should move out here, too. You think they have any positions for technical directors?”

I push him in the arm. “Come on, let’s get you back to your room before you start looking for real estate.”

…

I knock lightly on the door and wait. For some reason, I was prepared for him not to open. His ability to walk away when he gets overwhelmed is uncanny.

I take the key I made at the front desk and let myself in.

The lights are on, set to dim. The marble floors shine with an amber hue. The master bedroom door is open, the bed untouched. There’s no one in the dining area, or kitchen and the living room is empty so I walk straight toward the lanai.

I stop at the glass and look outside at the back of Jax’s head. He’s seated in a chair, looking toward the ocean. It’s dark out, and the outside lights are turned off. The only light is the one coming from the crimson flame burning from the propane fireplace.

I open the door and step outside. He doesn’t flinch at the sound of the door closing. Nor does he look my way.

He’s showered and sitting in nothing but a plush, white bath towel. A glass filled with dark liquid rests in his hand.

I step in front of him. He doesn’t acknowledge my presence. Instead, his gaze is focused on the metal railing.

“You’ve been drinking.”

He doesn’t respond. He merely lifts the glass to his lips and takes a sip. His throat bobs and his lips grimace with the taste. The way his eyes are red rimmed, I get the feeling he is savoring that burn more than he should.

“What are you doing here?” he asks.

“I turned around, and you were gone.”

He takes another drink and stares straight ahead. “So that was Kevin?” His mouth is tight as if tasting something bad. “Traveled all this way to be with you. What a fool.”

For some reason, I have a feeling he’s not talking about Kevin.

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

He draws his brows together. The glow of the fire highlighting the circles under his eyes. “Only an idiot would drop everything and travel five thousand miles for a girl.”

I stomp forward, my boot making a clanging sound. I cross my arms and look down at him. “What upsets you more? That he matched you on chivalrous attempts to get me back, or that I chased after him instead of you.”

“All of it,” he bites out, running a jerky hand through his hair. “Why are you here anyway? You should be on your date.”