Page 26 of The Summer Plans

I wait for her to continue, covering her hand with my palm. “What did he say?”

She blows out a breath. “His wife just had another baby, and apparently she had colic and was crying a lot. I think he was tired of hearing her cry, and he said that he ‘didn’t want to listen to another whiney, crying baby.’ Lucas overheard and assumed his dad was talking about him. I’m not saying he wasn’t, but I don’t really know.”

“Why are you making excuses for him?” Fuck, that was supposed to be an inside thought.

There’s fire in her eyes as she furrows her brows. “I’m not.”

“You are,” I say, softer. “I would never complain about something like that in front of my daughter. I get that as parents we’re human and have a right to feel frustration with our kids, but if my daughter ever overheard something I said that hurt her feelings, I would take ownership for my words and apologize. That’s what real men do.”

“You’re right. But I wasn’t there, and I don’t know how to protect them from this. They want to see their dad and he gets the summers with them, but he only shows up for a day before he takes off for his other family. The rest of the time they’re with his parents, and it was all I could piece together from Nana. Now Lucas has got it in his head that he can’t cry around his dad, like that’s the reason his dad is never around, when really his dad is never around because he’s a piece of shit who knocked up his secretary and picked her over us. I’m tired of men who treat me or my kids like we’re convenient until the next best thing comes along.” She glares at me with such intensity I have to fight the urge not to look away.

I just met these kids, but fuck if it doesn’t enrage me for them. “How can I help?”

“I don’t need help. Not from you. I’ll figure this out just like I always do.”

Her words are a punch to the gut but not completely unwarranted. Does she think I treated her like a convenience? My feelings for her were inconvenient, all consuming, and overwhelming. But they were constant, steady and I want her to know she can depend on me.

“We used to be friends once. You used to share every thought in your head with me, and I get that we aren’t close now. But I’d love to be there for you. And for your kids. I want to be someone you can count on.” Do I want to be just friends with this woman? Fuck no. But I’d rather be her friend than nothing at all.

She bites her lip and drops her head. “Thank you.” I don’t like that she won’t look at me, but I’ll take whatever she gives me.

CHAPTER 8

SUMMER

This man practically ghosted me back in high school and his rejection fucks with my self-confidence, so I’m not sure why he’s so eager to help me now. I need to stay strong, but my heart still yearns for him, and it’s overriding my rational brain at this point. Even if Raven was okay with us, I need a stable man in my life, and the RJ I knew was restless, always jumping from one thing to the next. The dust hadn’t even settled on us before he moved on to Jessica, and the last I heard he’d held multiple jobs before becoming a firefighter. And I don’t need another man who will only let me down.

We walk downstairs, and RJ heads straight for Lucas, removing the ice pack as he examines his foot while I clean up the kitchen. I need to keep my hands busy so I don’t fixate on the way his forearms flex as he wraps my son’s ankle. The way he so gently cares for my kids as if they were his own. Or the way he’s slowly chipping away at all my defenses. Nope, this is temporary. It’s just convenient because we’re stuck in the same house together. Things will go back to the way they were once we return to Chestnut Mountain.

My kids don’t have a lot of men in their lives. I have my mom friends, and that’s been enough for me. But two of them started dating firefighters this year, and Hardy and Mike have been hanging out with our group more, so it’s not like they’re never around male role models.

“I’m bored!” Lana whines.

Pausing my cleaning efforts, I pinch my eyes shut and take a deep breath. I hate that phrase more than anything. Since when did it become the parent’s job to entertain their kids? My parents left me on my own most of the time. I was running around with neighborhood kids, and my parents didn’t know where I was most days. We found ways to entertain ourselves. I never would’ve griped to my parents about being bored.

Nowadays kids have shorter attention spans, but they also have more ways of entertaining themselves than I ever had growing up. But “I’m bored” is usually actually just code for “Can I have my tablet?”

“I have another book you can read,” Logan offers.

Lana sinks onto a loveseat. “I don’t want to read any of your books.”

“Maybe we could go crab hunting?” RJ suggests.

Lucas perks up. “Can we?”

“Please, Mom!” Logan begs.

“I wanna go!” Lana says, surprising me.

I wrinkle my nose. Crab hunting is the last thing I want to do. Hunting around a dark beach only to be blindsided by a creepy-crawly with pinching arms? Yeah, no thanks.

Letting out a deep sigh, I push my desires down, ready to please my kids.

RJ looks at me, seemingly reading my discomfort. “I was thinking about going snorkeling later. Who wants to join me?”

A chorus of “Me’s!” erupt.

Lucas frowns. “What if I can’t swim with my foot?”