Page 31 of The Summer Plans

She rolls her eyes. “I’m fine.”

“So you like it when I rub aloe on your burns. Got it.” I can’t help teasing her. But seeing how she takes care of everyone the past few days has me overwhelmed with the need to take care of her.

Fire flashes in her eyes, and she opens and closes her mouth several times before she speaks as if she can’t decide how much to reveal. “I can do it myself. I don’t need your help.”

“Suit yourself.” I pull off my shirt and squirt a dollop of sunscreen into my hand. It’s a low blow, and I’m thankful that Captain Tony is distracting the kids as I make a show out of applying it to my body. My hands rub up and down my abs and pecs, and I delight in the way she can’t stop watching.

“Fine.” Tearing her gaze away, she huffs and removes her shirt to reveal a new bathing suit underneath. One she didn’t need my help to put on. Her shoulders are tan, her earlier sunburn faded, though I’m still gentle as I apply the sunscreen to her back and shoulders. I swear she’s not breathing, and I worry that my touch is too much, so I decide to distract her. “Does that ever get overwhelming? With Logan?”

She blows out a breath, keeping her eyes on Logan. “Every day.” She pauses before adding. “Not the maintenance. We’ve been doing this since he was diagnosed, so he’s gotten used to it. And he’s good about telling me when he’s high or low.”

I wait for her to say more, captivated by her strength.

“It’s the what–ifs. The worrying. The anxiety. We’ve been fortunate. Not everyone with a type 1 kiddo is. His egg allergy is scarier most days, though. Most moms worry about their kids, but whatever the normal amount of worry is, quadruple it for a special needs mom. It’s one thing to worry about their grades and their future or if they’re hitting all the milestones. I have to worry if his lunch will kill him every day. Or if he’ll fail a test because his levels are low and his brain fog makes concentrating hard and he’s too afraid to speak up because he doesn’t want to be different. And it makes finding friends hard too. I think that’s why Raven and I stayed so close, since she’s a special needs mom too.”

I squeeze her shoulders and lean in close, my mouth mere millimeters from her ear. “I’m here. If you need anything. If you want help.”

She stiffens against me, and I release my hold on her. I look over at the kids as Captain Tony checks their gear. “This is probably the best idea you’ve ever had,” she says, pulling me back.

Pride surges in my chest as I look at her. “Yeah?”

“Yeah. The kids don’t have a lot of men in their life who want to do stuff with them. Their grandparents are great, but they’re old so they mostly just watch TV when they’re there. Or they watch the kids play.”

It takes everything in me not to ask follow-up questions about their dad. What little I’ve heard about the guy hasn’t been nice.

“And I don’t wanna be mean—I love my kids—but I need some peace, and they can’t argue in the water. It’ll help them get all their energy out. And Logan can’t spout any more facts about animals pooping. And Lana can’t roll her eyes at her brothers. And Lucas can’t keep asking questions about the pooping animals.”

She turns so we’re shoulder to shoulder, and I bump mine against hers. “Yeah, but now you have to swim in their toilet.”

What the fuck is wrong with me? Why would I say that?

“Eww! Is that your ‘you can do this’ speech? It’s terrible. I thought we were having a nice moment.” When she smirks, my heartbeat relaxes.

Captain Tony whistles, getting all our attention. “Alright, everyone! Find a partner. This is gonna be your snorkeling buddy. It’s important that you stick with your buddy at all times.”

Logan and Lucas grab arms immediately while Lana looks between Summer and Sophie, before settling on Sophie. Turning to Summer, I say. “I guess that means you’re stuck with me, buddy.”

I cringe internally as soon as the words are out of my mouth. I don’t want to be this woman’s friend. I want to be her everything.

“Wouldn’t be the first time we got stuck together,” she mumbles.

“Thinking about our first kiss?”

She wrinkles her nose. “No, I meant how we’re stuck on this trip.”

My chest deflates a little. I need to do something to prove to Summer that I’m exactly where I want to be. It may have taken me a while to pull my head out of my ass, but there’s no place I’d rather be than by her side.

She places her bag on the bench, and I drop the sunscreen into it. Then we make our way to the back of the boat. I set a timer on my watch so we can check on Logan, and Captain Tony talks us through the safety steps. Then we’re in the water.

Summer tugs against me as she tries to keep up with her kids, but they’re lazily floating nearby. Even though we’re only holding hands, there’s tension in every inch of her body, as if she can’t turn off her mom brain and relax.

Releasing her hand, I grip her forearm, tugging her closer. She turns her head slightly toward me, probably trying to prevent water from getting into her snorkel. But through her mask, her eyes are staring daggers at me. “I got you,” I try to say into my mouthpiece, but the words don’t carry. Pointing to my eyes and then to her boys, I give her a thumbs-up. Then I point to the girls and repeat the gesture. Her eyes dart around before she nods slightly.

I want to tell her that I have her back, that I’ll always have her back, but given our history, I’m not sure she’d believe me. Not yet. But I’m determined to do whatever I can to convince her.

It takes some time, but she slowly relaxes when I point out a school of fish nearby. We float for a bit, still clutching hands but otherwise ignoring each other when she tugs again pointing wildly to a turtle below us. She looks around as if hoping to find Lana and pops her head out of the water for a second. Then she calms and resumes floating, so I assume she must have put eyes on her.

My heart is beating rapidly in my chest, and it has everything to do with the woman squeezing my hand as each fish swims by. She makes a fist and then opens it rapidly when she spots a puffer, and I stifle my laugh. I get completely lost in the way she slowly lets go, gradually relaxing as we drift around.