Page 54 of Shattered Dreams

“You okay?” I ask.

“Just tired,” he says.

“That’s really all?”

“Yeah, really. I’m just really feeling it today, I guess.”

I nod in agreement. I’m tired too, but it seems to be hitting him harder than I thought.

“What do we need to talk about?” he asks. Though his words are simple, I hear the edge of concern in his voice.

“You ever have those moments when you’re driving and suddenly you realize that you’ve been zoning out for ten miles and it’s a miracle you didn’t get into an accident?”

He laughs. “Yeah. Happens all the time.”

“Happened to me on the way home,” I say with a smile. “Just thinking about us and this.”

“This?”

“Everything we’re doing.”

“Oh, okay.”

“Do you ever think about it?” I ask, feeling uneasy. Which is something I don’t normally feel. Especially around Paul.

“I think about it all the time, Andre,” he says seriously, though he doesn’t look at me directly.

“What do you think about it?”

He grins. “No, we’re not doing that.”

“Doing what?” I ask.

“You wanted to talk to me, and what? You don’t know how to start the conversation, so you’re putting it on me? Slick. But no. Say what you have to say.”

I didn’t even realize I was doing that, but I guess he’s right.

I scratch the back of my neck.

“I was just thinking about everything we’re doing, and how we have this routine. With each other and the kids. Living here, us…together. All of it.”

“And?”

“I’m just wondering if it needs to be talked about?”“In what way?” he tenses, his eyebrows narrowing in on me once more, like he’s waiting for me to drop a bombshell.

Maybe I am. But I know one thing for sure is that he’s right. I need to say what is on my mind… what’s been on my mind since that first time we kissed. So, I take a deep breath and answer.

“In the way that I really like what we’re doing here, and it feels like things are getting more serious, and I hope I’m not the only one who feels that way. And that maybe we need to talk to the kids. Or my parents. Or Amelia…” Paul stares at me, unblinking. “Or I’ve lost my mind and misread the entire situation and—”

I get off the seat, already regretting this decision, but Paul grabs my arm.

“Hey, you’re not misreading anything,” he says firmly. His touch is warm, but not harsh. It’s surprisingly soft. Like he’s afraid I’ll disappear from his grasp. “This definitely feels like it’s becoming something pretty serious.” He licks his lips, his voice dropping an octave.

“Like we are something…more than what we should be.”

I blow out a breath of relief and sit back down.

“Do you want that?” I ask carefully. “For us to be something serious?” The words are unfamiliar, and I’m dancing around the truth, but the moment feels slightly delicate and the last thing I want to do is turn this upside down and break it because of these unrelenting thoughts and unexplained feelings.