Page 73 of Marriage and the Midlife Crisis

She raised her hands in a placating gesture. “That’s understandable, especially given how fresh the rift is. However, I would like you to keep in mind that we don’t just grieve when someone dies. An estrangement can be just as painful and even when we know that cutting off contact is the right thing to do, it can still hurt. You may find that it’s difficult to separate Mitch from the memories of your teenaged and college years, especially those memories you shared with Grady. Just know that it’s OK to grieve his loss, too, or at least the loss of what he represented at that time in your life. He was someone you considered to be a friend for many years.”

I cocked a brow, not believing for a second that I would ever miss that asshole after what he’d said and done.

Kim chuckled at my skepticism. “I’m just saying, give yourself grace if you find that your anger mixes with sadness at some point.”

Once the session ended, I walked Melanie out to her car. I asked her if she’d go to dinner with me, but she declined.

“I’m sorry, Ryan. I made plans to go out with Jen tonight.”

“Don’t apologize. You two have a fun time and stay safe, and maybe we can have dinner tomorrow. Thanks again for coming with me today,” I added.

“I don’t know that I really helped. I don’t think I even said a dozen words in there.”

I smiled down at her and cupped her cheek. “Just having you there helped. I’ll see you back here tomorrow at four.”

Chapter 25

Melanie

I was thankful that Jen and I had a booth in the back corner of our favorite Mexican restaurant, so we could talk freely without being overheard. We hadn’t had a chance to really talk since Ryan and I had breakfast together Saturday morning because she and Mark had been busy over the weekend, and she and I had been in back-to-back meetings for the Godwin project all day today.

She’d already ordered a strawberry margarita for me, and it was placed on the table just moments after I slid onto the bench across from her.

“Oh, this is good,” I murmured after taking my first sip.

“Rough session?”

“Not really. Kim had some really good insights into why people react the way they do after a loved one dies. I think it helped Ryan normalize some of his feelings. It definitely helped me understand his reaction at little better.”

“I’m glad it’s working for him. Now, how was breakfast?”

I filled her in on breakfast, and then our conversation at the house afterward. Her brows rose in surprise when I explained his suggestion that we start over with dating and getting to know one another.

“Then, we had our first date yesterday. He took me to a rage room,” I exclaimed. “I felt like a total badass by the time I finished smashing everything, and you have no idea how good it felt to slam that sledgehammer down on Mitch’s picture. I obliterated his smug, smirking, douchey face, and it was ah-mazing.”

I didn’t share Ryan’s experience in the rage room, because it wasn’t my story to tell.

“So, when is your second date?”

I reached for my glass and took another sip. “He asked me out to dinner tonight, but I told him we had plans, so I think we’re going to get dinner tomorrow evening instead.”

Our server came by to get our orders, and we munched on chips and salsa as we continued catching up.

“How are you feeling about things? Any closer to forgiving him for all the shit he pulled?”

I thought about it as I dipped another chip and used it to scoop up some salsa. “I’m feeling optimistic. I’m still hurt and angry about everything, but for the past several days, I’ve seen the old Ryan, and I still love him.”

“I’m not trying to stir the pot, but I feel the need to play devil’s advocate here because I don’t want to see you get hurt again. Can you trust him? Not just to stay out of strip clubs, but can you trust that this isn’t just another of his temporary changes?”

“I think so. I hope so, at least, especially since Mitch the Bitch is gone. I’m not quite there yet, though, and until I am – until I can not only trust him but also forgive him – we still have a lot of work to do.”

Jen reached across the table and squeezed my hand. “I really hope it works out for you two, and I know Mark feels the same. He’s just waiting for you to decide you can make a go of it again before he reaches out to Ryan.”

“He doesn’t need to choose sides. Neither of you do,” I protested.

“Our first loyalty is to you, always. If you two work things out, we’ll be the first in line to congratulate you both. If you can’t, then you get custody of us, and we might allow Ryan the occasional visitation.”

I rolled my eyes at her, and she sent me a sassy wink. “I can’t help it. I didn’t make the rules. That’s all on your brother.”