Page 57 of Carver’s Craving

“I was going to say basket case.”

“You’re allowed. How you perceive yourself, and how you put those feelings into words, matters. You wouldn’t, I think, use those words to describe anyone else.”

I shook my head with vehemence.

“Then we’ll accept the words for now, consider tackling them later, and move on with the story.”

“Right. So I’m heading to The Owl’s Nest on Saturday morning and I see Styx. Now—he’s supposed to be in Toronto. Oshawa. Ontario. Whatever. Not in British Columbia. In the small town of Mission City. Those odds are unfathomable. And yet…I’d know him anywhere. So I blurt out his name.”

“Wow. Yeah, those would be steep odds.”

“Nothing to bet on, that’s for certain.” I shrugged. “So I said hello. And once he got over his shock and shared his story, I invited him to stay with me.”

“His story?”

“That Baxter’s van broke down—with Styx in it—in Mission City. How Baxter had vanished and Styx needed a place to stay. I mean, clearly he was hurting for money. Dickens was offering him a place over the shop—but I wanted him to come home with me.”

“A nice thing to do.”

“Sure. And maybe a little selfish.”

“Oh?”

I hesitated. “I guess you could say I was lonely. Here was a chance to be with someone I knew. Someone comfortable. Or so I deluded myself into believing.”

Justin let out a soft chuckled. “What happened?”

“That attraction came back. With a vengeance. And you’ll never believe the wild part.”

“Styx was the guy in the hotel room?”

I blinked.

He shrugged. “Sort of felt like a logical leap. Since we’re in the stratosphere of odds…”

“Yeah. Only I didn’t realize at first because he’d used his real name—which I never knew. He showed me the text his parents sent—with his birth name—and it all clicked.” I winced. “I haven’t said anything. He seems totally oblivious. Meanwhile, my libido has kicked into high gear and my brain seems to be following.”

“Oh?”

“I don’t know if he’s changed or if my perception was wrong back then. I certainly don’t think he’s doing drugs—like I thought before. Or that he might be manic. I mean, under different circumstances he might be. But now? In my home? Nope.”

“And so you see everything differently. That happens. Time might have also changed him. He lost a bandmate. Someone I assume was a friend—”

I nodded.

“—so maybe he’s changed as well.” Justin shifted. “That’s a lot you’ve shared, and I’d like to dive into several things in subsequent sessions.”

“Uh…yeah. Okay.”

“For the immediate moment, though. What’s the plan?”

For the umpteenth time, I rubbed my forehead. “I don’t want him to go. I know he might. Hell, he probably will. Mission City’s too small to hold a man like that.”

Justin chuckled. “I would’ve said the same thing about my husband.”

“Oh?”

“People change, Carver. Sometimes logically and sometimes for reasons that make no sense. I suspect I know the answer to this, but…have you told him how you feel?”