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“I don’t think anyone likes them, but they seem to bother you more than most. So tell me about your childhood. It might help pass the time.”
Her mind flew to all the embarrassing, hurtful things in her past.
Her palms grew damp as her stomach churned. She just couldn’t imagine peeling back the layers and exposing herself to him in that way. And that made her a bad person for not wanting to share. She knew it.
But what Simon didn’t know was how hard it had been for her to let him this close to her. She knew that people could show the world one face and then in a blink pull off their smiley mask and reveal another, more sinister face.
She turned to Simon. She studied his very handsome face with its strong lines and mesmerizing eyes. Did he wear a mask? Her heart told her that he didn’t, but her mind told her to beware.
Perhaps she’d start with why she didn’t like bad winter storms. It wasn’t like it was a big secret or anything. “It was a long time ago, when I was just a little girl. I remember it being a particularly cold and snowy winter. There was just me and my mom. I never knew my father.”
Simon reached across the couch cushion, placing his hand over hers. She found warmth and comfort in his touch. “That’s why it’s so important to you that I have a close relationship with our baby?”
Pepper nodded as she gazed down at their hands. “My mother was working two or three jobs to make ends meet, but then she lost a job and we had to go without electricity for a couple of very long days and nights. I’d never been so cold in my life. It had been horrible. We’d huddle around a kerosene heater.”
“I’m sorry. That must have been scary for you.”
“I’m sure you never had to worry about anything like that.”
“Pepper, I didn’t grow up rich. For the most part, my mother raised me as a single mom too.”
“Really?” When he nodded, she added, “It’s just that you fit so well in this lifestyle. It’s like you’ve been doing it all of your life.”
He shook his head. “I didn’t start to make any real money until I was in college. I liked to tinker with things. I always did. But then I started creating things and getting patents.”
“That must have been so exciting.”
“It was, but I had to overcome a lot of obstacles to make it that far.”
“What was your childhood like?”
He shrugged. “Sometimes it was awesome. It was like having the perfect family. But the illusion only lasted for moments at a time. The other times, it was a nightmare.”
Pepper felt guilty for thinking her childhood was so difficult. They might have been short on money, but the house had been full of love. It sounded like Simon’s childhood home was anything but loving.
“Okay. So I told you my story. Now it’s my turn to ask you a serious question. Why don’t you like Christmas?”
* * *
The doors to the past once again creaked open.
Maybe if he opened up to Pepper, she would understand why they didn’t belong together as a couple. She would know how damaged he was and want to keep a respectable distance instead of looking at him with need and desire that was so hard for him to resist.
If they were going to be a family, he didn’t want there to be any secrets. He needed Pepper to make sure he didn’t turn into his father—that could never happen.
Simon cleared his throat. “My father was an angry man and when he drank, he hurt everyone in his path.” He paused as though to gather his thoughts. “There were some days when he was fine, almost human. But most days...most days you just wanted to stay out of his way. And holidays, well, those were the worst.”
The memories came rushing back to him in sharp, jagged pieces. Each of them slicing into his scarred heart. And then the long-buried anger and resentment came roa
ring forth.
“I was nine that Christmas. I was long past the Santa stuff, but my mother shooed me to bed early anyway. She told me I couldn’t see my presents until the morning. My father was out, so the house was quiet—almost peaceful—except the silence was more ominous than relaxing.”
His mind rewound time until he was back there. He remembered vividly his nine-year-old self, so sure he was no longer a child.
“I’d fallen asleep, anxious for Christmas. I never got a lot of presents, but my mother worked hard to make sure I got one special toy and some clothes. I don’t know how long I’d been asleep when I was wakened by the sound of my parents fighting. It wasn’t uncommon, but this time it was so much worse than the others. Things were crashing against the wall. My mother was screaming. And my father was out for blood.”
Simon glanced over at Pepper. She was quiet and her eyes showed sympathy. But she didn’t stop him. So he kept going, leaving the grisly details out for both of their sakes.
