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“With my mother bleeding, I tried to stop my father—reason with my father. But he’d had too much to drink and he was too full of rage.” His voice cracked with emotion. He couldn’t stop here or he’d never get the rest out. “I was too small to stand up to a man who did manual labor all day long, but I gave it my all—giving my mother a chance to defend herself. And when I just couldn’t anymore, I dragged myself to the phone and called for help.”
Pepper leaned into him, wrapping her arms about him. “I’m so sorry.”
“The police arrested him. My mother and I spent the rest of the night at the hospital getting stitches, and our broken bones treated.”
He could feel the dampness of Pepper’s tears seeping into his dress shirt. He wrapped an arm around her shoulders. She fitted there against him as though they’d been made for each other.
“When we got home on Christmas, we saw how the tree had been destroyed, the ornaments shattered. The whole place looked like a bomb had blown up in it. I told my mother I never ever wanted to celebrate Christmas again. She didn’t argue. I knew she didn’t want to relive that night.”
“I’m sorry. I had no idea when I brought home the tree what you’d been through.”
“Actually, it was good for me. You helped me see that I was stronger than those memories. So thank you for helping me see Christmas Present instead of Christmas Past.”
“Your father... Do you ever see him?”
“No.” That was another story of its own. “My mother refused to testify against him. But I refused to let him hurt us again. I got up on the stand and I sent my father to jail.”
Pepper pulled back. “You are the strongest person I’ve ever known.”
“My mother didn’t think so. I don’t think she ever forgave me for sending him to jail. And then when he died during a riot, it was my fault he died. My mother and I had a very strained relationship after all of that.”
She might have been there physically for the milestone moments of his life, but she hadn’t been there emotionally. They didn’t speak to each other about the important things in life. He never wanted to be like that with his child.
But with his parental role models, he felt doomed. Except there was Pepper. She was filled with sunshine and rainbows. With her to help him, maybe he could be the type of father he’d always wanted—patient, understanding and loving.
“Your mother seemed happy about the baby.” Pepper’s voice drew him from his thoughts.
He nodded. “She did, which surprised me.”
“Maybe it’s a chance for you two to reconnect.”
“I wouldn’t get your hopes up. I’ve been taking care of her financially and I thought it would make a difference, but there’s still this chasm between us.”
“Have you tried talking to her about it?”
He shook his head. “The past is best left alone.”
“What about just opening up to her about what’s going on in your life now? Maybe she isn’t sure what to say to you. Maybe if you took the first step...”
He’d never tried because he didn’t think his mother cared. But could Pepper be right? Was his mother waiting for him to make the first move?
“I don’t know,” he said. “I think she still blames me for his death.”
“The woman I saw, who got so excited about her future grandchild, didn’t look at you with anything but love in her eyes.”
“Really?”
“Really. Give her a chance. You might be surprised.”
He turned so he could look directly at Pepper. “And what about you? Do you regret getting involved with me now that you know just how damaged I am?”
She reached out and cupped his cheek, her fingertips brushing over his face. “I think you are strong, kind and resilient. You are not damaged. You are the perfect man to be a father to our baby...”
“But what if I turn out like my father?”
“You won’t.”
“How can you be so sure?”
