Page 141 of In Between Death and the Devil

I needed to see Fen.

* * *

He was right where Sasha said he’d be, sitting at Titus’s bedside in the infirmary, with his head in his hands.

Titus had been given a private room containing a narrow bed and three chairs. He lay beneath the sheets looking much like I’d last seen him, still and pale with dark splotches on his skin that looked like burns, but he was still here. Still alive.

Fen looked up and my whole body jolted. He looked terrible, with dark circles under his eyes and his beard scruffier than usual, but it was the defeated slump in his posture that gave me the most alarm. I’d never seen him look so miserable.

Part of me wanted to crawl into his lap and offer whatever comfort I could, but the other part of me was afraid of him. Now that his secret was out, he had nothing to lose. Desperate people were capable of desperate actions. My throat throbbed in memory of where he’d grabbed me.

I flinched back into the flames as the door opened.

“Any change?” Daphne took a seat on the opposite side of the bed, stroking Titus’s hand.

“No.” Fen’s voice was full of gravel. “The healers say he isn’t getting any better, but he also isn’t getting worse.”

“That’s good. If he doesn’t get any worse there’s still hope.”

“She’s not coming back,” Fen snapped.

“You don’t know that.”

“Yes, I do. And you need to face that.” It sounded like a well-worn argument.

“How long are you going to punish yourself, Fen?”

He shook his head, dropping it to his chest.

“It’s a real question.” Daphne glared at him.

“As long as I want. I can’t believe you can stand to be in the same room as me.”

“We’ve been over this. You were an idiot for not telling us, but we understand why you didn’t. Now that we know, we can help you.” She held up a finger when he opened his mouth. “And don’t say you don’t need it, because we all know you do.”

“It’s my burden to bear.” He sounded sullen.

“If it were one of us suffering, would you think that?”

He pressed his lips together.

“That’s what I thought.” She leaned forward and kissed Titus’s forehead gently. “I can’t stay, but Marcus will be here in a little bit to relieve you.”

“I don’t have anywhere else to be.”

“You have a castle to run. At the very least you need to shower and eat something. Get some sleep.”

“I’ll be fine.” He waved her suggestions away.

“No, you won’t. I’ll be back later to make sure you don’t sit here all night.” She stopped at the door and looked back. “I know you think you don’t deserve Maeve coming back, but you do. I’ll tell you as many times as it takes for you to believe me.” The door snicked softly as it shut.

“But they never do,” Fen said, the words soft.

My throat tightened as his eyes grew glassy, both at the resignation in his voice and because I realized Talia had left shortly after she found out. They’d been friends, and instead of letting him explain or giving him any grace she’d turned her back on him. Threatened to tell the others. He’d never told me what had happened to his wife, but his words made me wonder if she’d left him too. And I’d done the same thing.

“Maeve, please.” I startled at the sound of my name on his lips. He wasn’t looking at me. He stared straight ahead, a faraway look in his eyes. “Please, come back. I’m so sorry for everything. For not telling you.” He squeezed his eyes shut and tears spilled down his cheeks. “If you come back, I promise I’ll tell you everything. I just⁠—”

My chest ached as his shoulders shook.