Page 90 of Relapse

Day Four

The dream was vivid. I was floating in a warm, hazy cloud, my limbs heavy and relaxed. In my hand, I held the perfect pill, a small white promise that would melt away everything. The throbbing in my head, the voices, pressure of panic in my chest—all of it would dissolve into this blissful reality. I brought it to my lips, ready for the sweet oblivion, when a voice shattered the fog.

“Well, well. Look who’s awake.”

My eyes snapped open. That voice.

Not possible.

The dream dissolved, leaving only the cold, dim truth of my bedroom. I was home, laying in a pool of my own sweat. The sheets tangled around my legs, and my mind was still trying to comprehend what I had just heard.

Sure enough, David was there, leaning against the doorframe to my room. He moved with a stiff, deliberate slowness, a dark silhouette blocking out the faint hall light.

When had he gotten back?

Even though he had just left the hospital, he looked less like a patient and more like a predator who’d just made parole. The reason for my nerves. The reason I dreamed of sweet narcotics and still woke with the burning desire for more.

I squinted against the darkness, hoping he’d disappear along with the dream. When he didn’t, my body shrank back into my pillows. My heart pulsed in my throat.

I knew what this meant. It was late. The household had already darkened and gone to sleep along with the night sky, and I had no strength for another catastrophe.

Fuck, I just wanted to go back to the dream. Anything that could make me buzz would do. Or maybe I was still asleep. And this was just another fucking nightmare.

“What were you dreaming about?” David asked with a smirk, confirming that this wasn’t a nightmare afterall. It was worse.

I eased my sheets back slowly. I didn’t want to provoke him.

“Nothing.” My voice was a dry rasp.

David chuckled, pushing off the doorframe and taking a slow step into the room. He shut the door behind him, and the sound of the lock making contact caused me to flinch. My adrenaline was rushing through my veins fast, but not quickly enough to get my body to move. I was frozen.

Just fucking move.

“You were talking in your sleep,” he continued, taking a step forward. “About pills. You’re not taking drugs again, are you?”

That comment had to have been what got my body working normally again. The sarcasm of it all. The absolute irony. I pushed myself into an upright seating position, unable to control my scowl at his question. “Drugs? Of course not. My life is so perfect here.”

“That’s so good,” David cooed, taking another step forward.

I mirrored his motion with a shift to the opposing side of the bed. There weren’t many places I could go, but I had to keep my distance. David wouldn’t be in here unless he wanted to hurt me, and I wasn’t letting my guard down. Not even for a second.

“I see you’re up and walking,” I murmured, my eyes darting to the closed door. I had to plan my escape.

David shot forward without warning, his speed faster than I expected. I turned to scramble off the bed, barely making it to the edge before he was on me, grabbing a fistful of my hair and dragging me backwards and onto the mattress. Pain shot through head, and I entered fight mode almost instantly, clawing at his wrists, throwing my arms back, hoping to make contact. I would draw blood this time. He wouldn’t be taking me quietly.

But then David did something I wasn’t prepared for.

His grip left my hair and shot around my throat, clenching so tightly that I didn’t even have time to gasp. There was no air. He leaned forward, putting the full force of his body weight on his arms.

He was strangling me.

“I’m sure you remember…our last conversation, hmm?” David growled out the words as I desperately yanked at his arms, attempting to break his hold on me. “About how you…wished you had been the one…to kill me?”

He forced me down further into the mattress, his concrete grip combined with his body weight sealing off any hope of oxygen or freedom.

“Your going to fucking tell me who tried to get rid of me, or maybe, I’ll finally get rid of you. You were a mistake anyway.”

My body thrashed in panic, floundering like a fish out of water. My brain raced, full panic mode, all alarms in my body signaling for help. I can’t breathe.