Page 72 of Against The Boards

I laughed. “Please tell that to my grandparents. They constantly harp on me about settling down and having babies.”

She made a face. “Hard pass.”

She slid off my lap to grab her coffee again. She leaned her head on my shoulder, and it was in these quiet moments with her where we unraveled our souls to each other that I knew I was done for. I was falling deeper and deeper in love with her as the days passed.

This thing between us wasn’t just a casual fling, we were practically dating, and it was getting on my nerves that it could only be behind closed doors. The fact she wanted the same thing as me made me want to make her mine even more. I didn’t know how to prove to her that we should give it a shot, though. I did know I craved learning more about this feisty woman.

“How did you know?” I asked her.

“Know what, love?” she asked again, that pet name making me grin because I didn’t think she noticed she did it.

“Don’t get mad at me,” I forewarned. She opened her mouth to protest, but I put a finger to her lips. “How did you know you were bisexual?”

She laughed and batted my hand away. “Oh. What brought that up?”

“I want to know more about you.”

She side-eyed me suspiciously. I wasn’t sure why I wanted to know the story. I loved hearing her bare her soul to me. Telling me those dark secrets that I was sure she didn’t tell anyone else.

“I think if you’d asked me before, I would tell you the story about my friend Natalie kissing me on a dare, and it was this big epiphany, but that wasn’t the case.”

“Oh?” I asked and quirked up an eyebrow.

“That was when I put all the pieces together. A couple of months before, I watched Mulholland Drive with my boyfriend. There’s a lesbian sex scene in it, and I remember feeling uncomfortable watching it. I knew I wasn’t homophobic, but I pushed that feeling away, and when Natalie kissed me that night, it all clicked. It was confusing because I thought I was gay.”

“So, how did you know you weren’t?”

“I went to a hockey party with Tristan, and one of his teammates started flirting with me, and I thought, ‘damn he’s got some nice forearms.’”

“Forearms? Is that what women are interested in?” I asked with a laugh and flexed my muscles.

She laughed. “I like a muscular back. And beards. Ugh, men in red plaid too—it’s my weakness.”

“I think you just described the Brawny Man.”

“Don’t kink shame me!”

I grabbed her hand and kissed her wrist gently. “You didn’t have to tell me that, but I’m glad you did.”

She smiled at me. “I haven’t told anyone that. Not even Tristan.”

I rubbed my thumb over her tattoo. “Thank you for trusting me with it.”

My phone vibrated on the bedside table, and I cringed because I knew it was either Noah or Riley asking me where the fuck I was. I was late for a training session with them. It hadn’t been the first time either, and my teammates were getting suspicious. I wasn’t sure what excuse I would use this time. But I didn’t care—not when I got to have these intimate moments with Rox. When I lay in bed with her, she made me want to never leave. So, I didn’t give a shit how much Riley and Noah chirped me for being late.

Rox nodded at my phone, which went off a few more times while I sipped on my coffee. “Do you have somewhere you need to be?”

I chugged the rest of my coffee and got out of bed. “Yeah. I have to get going. I was supposed to meet Riley and Noah, and I’m late.”

She nodded and got up, too. “I better get started on my day, too. I’m supposed to meet Dinah and Fi for brunch.”

I kissed her goodbye, which seemed oddly relationship-y, and when I was out the door two seconds later, I realized that was what we were doing. She’d just told me about discovering her sexuality because I was curious. Instead of glaring at me, she revealed the most personal story about herself. If this wasn’t a relationship, she wouldn’t have told me that. If we were just fuck buddies, she would have kicked me out of bed and told me to fuck off.

The old Rox sure as shit wouldn’t be cuddling in bed with me and telling me all her secrets. The old Rox would have told me to go fuck myself gently with a chainsaw for asking her that question.

I realized that somewhere along the way, we’d fallen into something we hadn’t been expecting. We were in a relationship, but she didn’t want to admit it. I told myself I wouldn’t catch feelings, but I think I’d had feelings for this woman since the day I met her. And I was so totally screwed.

Chapter Twenty-One