Page 106 of Between Love & Ruin

“Because I have not,” I cut her off in the middle, and her eyes widen in rage. “Do you not understand? I have never, ever loved anyone. Not until Sienna. How hard is it for you to understand that nothing matters for me if she’s not with me?”

Her face contorts in anger and confusion, and I can’t fathom how hard it can be for her to understand that I love her.

Three simple words, but they hold the most truth. I love Sienna. Always have and always will.

A lone tear escapes my eyes, tired from fighting it all. Tired from explaining my decisions. Tired from this entire life and the expectations of people from me.

Tired from living a life where I was not happy, and the moment I was, it was brutally taken away from me.

Most of all, from the gnawing fear in my chest that I am about to lose the one person who never deserved the bitter end of this.

“That’s what I couldn’t see happening. You might not care about it, but I do. I gave this company my blood, sweat, and tears. I gave wings to all of your dreams. I couldn’t see it all going down the drain.”

I rub a hand over my face, my last thread of patience almost snapping.

“I tried to push her away from you. I can’t believe even having you guys’ pictures leaked and sent to her boyfriend didn’t stop her. God, that’s pathetic, so pathetic. So I did what I had to do, and I don’t regret it one bit. You are my family, and I protect my family.”

“She’s my only family. " I take a step forward and point at her so that she hears me clearly this time. “Sienna. Is. My. Family. Do you understand?”

A look of absolute despair takes over her face, but I don’t give a damn about it.

“No one can take her away from me. Not you and not your little stunts. Had I known you were behind all that pain and disrespect she went through, I would have thrown you out before.”

She opens her mouth to speak, but I don’t let her.

“You are fired, Myra. Banned from all of my ventures because guess what, this company is mine. And now, it’s going to be Sienna’s, and no one can stop me.”

Fear replaces her eyes, one so real that it sends a sick relief down my spine.

“You were always just an employee, and now you’ll no longer be that. And if you don’t leave NYC willingly, I will personally make sure you’re thrown out and banned from every company in the city.”

“You wouldn’t do that to me,” she says, a quiet sob breaking through her.

“Oh, I absolutely will,” I smile all evil. “You know why? Because I care only and only about my girlfriend. And I don’t tolerate people who try to destroy what’s mine. You should know that by now.”

I don’t hear what she says next or how she tries to claw at me. How she tries to stop me from leaving and doing this.

But the truth is, I don’t play when it comes to Sienna Hayes.

I meant it when I said that I love her more than anything and anyone in the world.

That I would quit everything and destroy everything to just be with her.

I’m an incredibly selfish man.

And it so happens that when it comes to her, I go beyond the rules of what’s right and wrong, what’s moral or immoral.

And it’s time she knows it with finality now.

* * *

I drive home like a man possessed. Every second that I spend away from Sienna feels like another second I am losing her.

I know I have hurt her beyond what is right, even if unintentionally. I know I promised her I would be better than her past, and I disappointed her by being worse than that.

But the only difference between me and her past was that I am ready to beg for forgiveness, to make it up to her till my last breath.

I have no idea what I an going to say when I get home. I have replayed the conversation in my head a dozen times already, every apology sounding too small, every explanation sounding like an excuse.