Page 103 of Summer in Greece

‘It so happens I was in the area on some business,’ he said. ‘A coincidence that means we can travel home together after the hearing.’

‘I can’t wait to see Mother. It’s been so long.’

Merriberry turned my way. ‘You’ll be given the statutory leave after a sinking. You have thirty days with your family, Miss Smith.’

She tugged her tan cape around her body, reminding me of a brown cocoon our Arthur once kept in a box in his bedroom, waiting all winter for the beautiful creature to emerge the following spring. It didn’t. I couldn’t help thinking that Merriberry would never emerge as a butterfly either.

‘Miss Smith, please!’

The call came from behind me. Merriberry placed her hand on my shoulder. ‘Gertie, they will understand. It’s normal to forget what happened after such a traumatic event. Relax now.’

I nodded rapidly, glanced at my father, then walked stiffly into the inquiry.

Inside the oak-panelled room, I was reminded of our courthouse in Dover. Six rows of spectators were tightly packed along the back of the hall; before that, men with notebooks scribbled frantically and I guessed they were the press. Before them, a row of men in uniform, and I dared not scrutinise their faces in case our captain was among them.

The official led me to a pulpit next to a row of men who had piles of documents in front of them, and a stenographer who recorded everything. My poor heart was thumping like the blazes. They made me swear to tell the truth, then asked me to repeat all the events of that day, starting with me waking up.

I told them everything in the most minute detail, and noticed some roll their eyes when I said I should get a new toothbrush because my bristles were becoming sparse.

‘The problem is, I can’t remember anything after leaving my cabin,’ I said with conviction. ‘It’s all such a blank. As far as I can guess, it was the same as every other morning.’

‘Do you remember what you had for breakfast?’ one of the men on the bench asked.

I remembered Matron’s words. Why would she make such a point if not for me to repeat it?

‘Oh, yes. We had brown bread with raspberry jam.’

‘So what time was this, Miss Smith?’

I’d walked into a trap and knew it immediately. ‘I’m not sure, sir. In fact, that might have been the day before. We had the same breakfast every morning. The events of that day are all blurred. I was very frightened.’

‘Were you in the dining room for the surgeon’s meeting?’

‘I can’t remember, sir.’

‘Do you remember what he spoke about?’

‘No, sir. It’s all a blank.’

‘Where were you when the alarm went off?’

‘I can’t remember, sir.’

He sighed loudly. ‘Did you open the portholes, Miss Smith?’

‘It was forbidden to open the portholes, sir, so I can’t imagine why I would do such a thing.’

‘Yes, it was forbidden; but did you?’

My face burned. He knew, I sensed it. I couldn’t lie under oath. ‘I can’t remember, sir.’

‘You really expect us to believe you don’t remember doing something that caused too many horrible deaths, and needless maiming?’

‘Yes, sir. I mean, no, sir.’

‘So which is it? Did you open the portholes?’

‘I can’t remember, sir.’ My tears rose and I tried hard to keep my voice even. ‘I nearly drowned, sir. I was pushed up from the deep by a dolphin . . . everyone saw it. I can’t remember much else apart from saving Corporal Perkins. He was bleeding to death in the water.’