Page 88 of Let the Light Shine Through

“Why’s that?”

“The way you snowboard, you move like you’re having sex. A seductive dance. An erotic show for the masses.” Her eyes soften, droplets falling from her lashes onto her cheeks. “You don’t dance like that at all.”

“You’ve seen me compete?”

“For hours.” She nods. “Once I started, I couldn’t stop. After I met you, I had to look you up. Pro snowboarder gracing this small town with his presence…how could I not? Your skills are unmatched.”

Another moment passes as our feet continue moving to the silent tune.

“I watched your friend, Salvy, too. He was good. Nowhere near as good as you though. You worked those slopes like you were teasing a well-acquainted lover in a risky game of foreplay. He looked like he was just along for the ride.”

I think back to the way Salvy was always rushing to finish through runs of our prized sport. Salvy liked snowboarding, but he loved the overall lifestyle competing and winning provided us more. The constant travel, the girls, the money, the photo shoots, the fun. I enjoyed those aspects at different points, but as a whole, all I really wanted, what I craved more than anything, was snowboarding itself. But…

“It must’ve been a lover worth walking away from then since I quit.”

Her red-rimmed eyes bore into mine. “Like all great love stories, you’ll be back. You’ll return with open arms, blind optimism, and enough passion to fuck everybody up.”

I shake my head. “I’ve been riding alongside Salvy since we were kids. It wouldn’t be the same without him.”

“I saw the way you were with his mom at his funeral, you took care of her. You took care of both of them, didn’t you?”

My eyes fall to Gia’s mouth, watching bits of water lazily roll over her bottom lip, and I nod.

Gia clamps her eyes shut, the energy around us shifting.

“And now you’re looking for someone else to take care of.”

“What? No.” I never said that. I never even thought that.

Her eyes open, revealing more determination than I’ve ever seen in them before as she says, “But, I don’t need you, Roz. I don’t need your help. I don’t want it. I don’t want you.”

She pulls away, leaving me grasping at air.

“So, that’s it then? All because you can’t accept help?”

“That’s where you’re wrong. I’ve never seen a man so lost in the one place he truly belongs until I saw you out there today. I’m not the one in need of help. You are.”

“Are you talking about snowboarding?”

She rolls her eyes.

“I’m fucking done with boarding!” I roar, spreading my arms out wide, letting the rain openly cascade down my body.

“Are you?”

“Yeah, I am. Why can’t you understand that? Why are you pushing for something that’s not gonna happen?”

“Why are you?” she shoots back. “You returning to the life you love, the life you were meant for, is an actual possibility. This,” she gestures between us, “isn’t.”

“Yeah well, fuck you then. Fuck you for forcing yourself into those church doors and into my life. Fuck you for forcing yourself into my bed as easily as you forced yourself back out of it. Fuck you for forcing me out here just to tell me you regret it all. Fuck you, Gia!”

Not once does she look away, not even when I yell the last part again.

With an eyebrow raised, she says, “You want to kiss me, don’t you?”

“Fuck yes.” What gave it away? The outline of my hardening cock against my jeans? The thundering from my chest that feels a hundred times louder than the clouds above our heads? Or the way my body won’t stop leaning toward her like she’s the north to my compass?

“Typical upper-class brat.”