Page 89 of Let the Light Shine Through

Air pours from my nose in quick, thick streams.

“You think everyone owes you something because you excelled at going fast down a few snowy hills? You think I owe you something because you were decent in bed?”

She takes a step closer to me, and I almost say fuck it all and kiss her. At least it’d shut her up. I don’t want to hear this. Not from her.

“Two-thirds of the population around here can slide their ass down the side of a mountain once the snow falls, Roz. It’s called having money and nothing better to do. You miss your friend? Go buy another one. It worked with Salvy, didn’t it? Throw a little money at anything and you can claim it as yours. Isn’t that right?”

What. The. Fuck.

Where is all this coming from? She’s never judged me for the parts of my life I’ve shared with her, but now she’s throwing everything back in my face. And with enough venom to make the most lethal snake jealous. Was she just pretending this entire time? Saving up all these misconceptions to fuck with my head when she was done fucking with my body.

“If that’s true, what’s your price?” I regret the words as soon as they’re out of my mouth, but I’m too far in to pull out now. Might as well dig a little deeper while I’m here. I’ve got nowhere else to go.

Her laugh is unlike any others I’ve heard from her. “While you were dipping from your parents’ bottomless pit of resources to kick-start a career any adrenaline junkie with a trust fund could get, I was busy creating a life I actually chose for myself. One I respect enough not to ruin by messing with miserable cowards. In fact, this is all starting to border on pathetic, and unfortunately for you, I no longer give out pity fucks.”

I scoff loudly while trying to keep my body as still as possible. “Was that before or after you let T.J. eat your pussy?”

“You wanted to know what bird you are?” Her fingernail pierces my skin below my collarbone as she digs her pointer finger into my chest. “A Mockingbird. Aggressive assholes who spend their lives mimicking others instead of being themselves. You’re a fucking imitation, and I’m glad to finally be rid of you.”

“Is that your idea of a goodbye?” My voice is stripped raw, just like the rest of me.

“You were a good ride while you lasted, but we both know you don’t last long at anything.”

With my hoodie still on her, Gia turns away, leaving me here for what feels like the last time.

“You said I was a star,” I call to her back. “Remember that?” It’s not even what she said but how she said it—with awe. How does a person fake that?

She doesn’t even stop as she looks over her shoulder with a face full of pity, saying, “Yeah, a failing star.”

Fuck an avalanche, Gia herself just buried me alive. Or at least I was before she ripped my heart out of my chest.

Gia

I hurry up the porch steps on legs shakier than they were after a full day of riding.

He just had to. He just had to push me to say those things and now my tongue feels like ash in my mouth.

It’s okay. It’ll be okay. It’s for the best. It is. It has to be because the alternative…

No, this is the right thing to do.

It feels wrong, incredibly fucking wrong, but I have to believe it’s better than letting Roz watch me wither away in front of his eyes, just like my mom did mine and my dad’s.

The front door swings open as I’m reaching for the handle to reveal Rowdy with something that looks a lot like disappointment building in his eyes.

“I know,” I tell him, but I don’t. I don’t know anything right now. I thought I did, then I met Roz.

Bryce passes me a bottle of gin I’m ninety-eight percent sure he wasn’t drinking from, and I take it, throwing back a couple of shots in one go.

“Good gawd, that shit’s nasty,” I blanch, but the alcohol burns worse than the dumpster fire my mind currently is, so I toss back another gulp before wiping my mouth with my hand.

“There goes our security deposit,” my boy Mikey says, his face practically pressed against the glass of the living room window. “What did you do to him, G?”

Everybody else is focused on the front yard too, but I already know what has their attention. I heard it on my way inside. Roz is ripping apart the cheesy-ass sign the homeowners obviously made using his bare hands.

“I pushed him,” I say under my breath, putting my back to the window.

I pushed Roz the way I’ve been pushing him since we met, but I also pushed him. I pushed Roz away, for good.