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“Um, he was my friend first.”
“No, he wasn’t. He was mine—”
I grunt, ending the same argument my friends always have when it comes to me.
Dex and Tina both look this way. Sprawled out on Dex’s sofa, my eyes have been open this whole time, which doesn’t seem to concern the siblings as they continue talking about me like I’m not here.
“Is he trying to communicate?”
“I don’t know.” Moving closer, Dex asks me, “How you doing, bud? Need anything?”
They’re acting like I’ve been in this same position for weeks, but really, it’s only been a couple hours. I’m pretty fucking sure it’s only been a couple hours. It feels like it’s been weeks. Months. How am I supposed to do this—live—without her?
After vacating the Rhodeses’ property, I came here for refuge and haven’t moved since. Haven’t needed to. Haven’t wanted to.
Maybe tomorrow.
Maybe not.
“Tina.” Feels foreign on my lips, probably because it’s not her name, the only woman’s name I wanted to say for the rest of my life.
“Yes!” After pumping both arms in the air, she skips over to me. “What can I get you, sailor?”
“Kota.” That feels better. Kind of.
Actually, I think it’s worse. I want my silver lining back already.
“Sorry, abduction’s outside of my comfort zone.”
“Can you go over there? Keep her company?”
Tina shakes her head. “We’re not really friends like that.”
“You were friends enough to rat me out to her.”
“Is that why she dumped you?”
Something happens in the back of my throat, I think I gag, and I have to dig my palms into my eyes to staunch the tears suddenly threatening to overflow. Again. Jesus, when did I become a fountain?
Around the time Kota “dumped me.”
It happens again—the gag.
It’s that term. I hate it. Loathe it. Literally can’t stomach it.
“Don’t say that.”
“But she did, didn’t she? That’s why you’re here? Because Kota broke u—”
I groan. That’s not any better. Nothing is. Not without Kota.
Dropping my hands, I mutter, “I wish I was dead.”
“Don’t say that,” Tina tells me, a hint of panic in her voice.
Dex joins us. “Hey. None of that. We were joking before but that…that’s not funny.”
“It’s not,” I agree. “But it’s true.”
