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“I’m not asking. I’m telling you. Teach me how to swim.”

Somehow, he got even ruder.

“Ask me nicely and maybe I’ll consider it.”

“Can you teach me how to swim?”

It’s not all that nice, but he did ask, so I guess I have to uphold my end of the bargain.

I look between his eyes. I have no doubt that if I ask him why the sudden interest in learning how to swim, he won’t tell me. At least not the truth.

“I’ll meet you in the pool when I’m done.”

“No. Now.”

He turns to walk away.

“Khaos—”

“This is the only time I’ll let you.”

“But—”

“Now.”

He leaves.

Fists on my hips, I regard myself in the floor-to-ceiling mirrors.

“She won’t know,” I say to my reflection, but I don’t move from my spot. I’m not even sure I can. I—

I was willing to for Guy. I think. I said it like I was.

I’ve only defied my mom once, and the resulting three-week punishment was so lonesome, so terrifying, so painful, I swore I’d never do it again. Even the other day, when she wanted me to change my shirt, I did. It felt powerful to leave the house without changing, but knowing she’d stooped to making Khaos cover me up in his generic hoodie, I couldn’t do it. I had to obey, had to do what was expected of me. So I bought myself a Littoral pullover at school to put on.

I make it to the threshold, then hesitate.

It’s fine to cross it. It’s fine. I could always come back and finish the herkies I still owe…

If I wanted to.

She won’t know. Like Khaos pointed out, how could she? As long as he doesn’t tell her, she has no way of finding out.

I’m slow to exit completely, but when I do, my walk to the natatorium is riddled with nerves at the mere thought of my mother popping out of nowhere and catching me in the act. Only thirty-three out of one hundred completed. She would see that as a failure. Even though they were all executed to perfection. Even though I’m still working out at least four times a week. Even though this entire summer I’ll be busy doing stunts, tumbles, and everything else cheer related.

None of which is good enough for her because I’m not good enough for her.

Even if I did the rest of those herkies, it wouldn’t appease her.

That realization has me walking a little faster.

Khaos is by the pool when I enter, lingering near the deepest part, eyeing it like it personally offended him. I guess it did try to take his life.

“Do you want me to grab your swim trunks?”

My voice breaks his reverie.

“I don’t have any.”